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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
who's the boss.
2017-05-09 @ 11:44 p.m.
you can't even know the number of times that i started and abandoned entries between now and the last time i wrote. i really need to stop doing that and just post fragments of things even if i don't finish the thought. my memory is so poor anymore that at this point, i need this for my records as much as i do to vent. so boss was talking to one of our vendors recently, and the guy was talking about how he's had this secretary for almost 20 years, but her husband died recently and he was the only reason she was living here, so she's moving back south. he's like out of his mind, has no idea what to do. he's like, i don't even know how to do an interview! SHE did all of the interviews! and paperwork? what is that? and boss said, yeah [tinea] is the same for me. i would be absolutely fucked if she left me. and of course i heard this and was like, awesome! not only because of course, being needed and valued is awesome, but because that gives me a lot of leverage. he's even said that if this business fails or has to close down, he wants me wherever he is. so job security is awesome. and then, i recalled boss and i talking last week about this new location he wants to open up, and how he hasn't told anyone about it yet, even his wife. and he was saying that he tells me a lot of things that he doesn't tell her [in reference to the business]. he often asks me for advice, and sometimes follows it (he's notorious for being super stubborn and not listening to anyone about anything), and has a few times told me he respects my opinion. and when he said that stuff, i was like yeah ok cool. you know how some people just blow smoke up your ass then blow you off. i thought it was one of those. but when i recalled our conversation about the new place, i remembered he was telling me that he was going to ask what mr. able thought he should do, and whatever mr. able says, he will do. mr. able trusts me with his life. like, literally his life and his home and all of his secrets. mr. able has told boss that i am smart and that he respects my opinion. so it just kind of hit me, like whoa. i just realized i've been given the thumbs up by the highest authority. this is both cool and kind of frightening because this man is taking business advice from me, and i'm a fucking jackass. but aren't we all? so anyway, all of that was awesome and i've been feeling really confident. boss is also notorious for ... i don't want to say being a jerk, but he can just be really annoying and obnoxious sometimes. he has so many things going on that he just doesn't think how he's coming off to people. so two fridays ago i said i was leaving at 2:30 because boy and i had plans. it's 2:35 and i'm putting stuff in my car to leave and boss is like omg i need you to go to [x] place and pick up this thing real quick! and i'm like dude fucking really? all morning that day he and i were driving around together and had discussed many times that i was leaving at 2:30. so i angrily went and got the item, came back, threw the invoice on his desk and left. he called me like 20 mins later asking where i was. i'm like dude did i not tell you i was leaving at 2:30!? and he fucking APOLOGIZED and said he thought i was just saying that (why tf would i say a specific time if i didn't really mean it but okay whatever). so when i was leaving this friday he was like, don't let me hold you up! let's get all of this stuff done because i know you're leaving at 2:30! and then he's like, all wounded, you were really mad at me last week! i cannot impress upon you enough how this conversation would never be happening with someone else. it gave me such a lady boner. the whole situation does. like, when was the last time that you absolutely loved your job. and i mean ALL of the parts of it. i dress how i want, i show up and leave when i want, i completely structure my own day. i love all of my coworkers. and i'm the boss of my boss. i don't have to be sheepish and watch what i say and how i say it. this afternoon we were having a pretty heated, but very calm and respectful argument about an incident that happened over the weekend while i was out. i told him he was being completely unfair and letting his emotions dictate his view of it. that the incident should have been handled differently by both parties involved, that they were both responsible for their behavior, and that it arose out of a need that we've had a long time for some direction in certain departments. he said that mr. able would destroy me if we were having this argument, and i said i'm not scared of mr. able because the fact remains that this was bound to happen without clear guidelines, and if i was in the situation i would have done the same thing (in a nutshell, ER went over someone's head in front of a customer and started this huge thing). in the future boss needs to make his expectations and consequences clear. he couldn't argue with that. whew? where was i going? i smoked a lot of pot between that sentence and this one and forgot my thesis statement here. since a youtube video in the background just reminded me, here's a little confession: i had a sex dream about boss a couple of months ago and this new power imbalance at work developed into this fantasy of just like, fucking his brains out. he's so reserved and wound up and never ever relaxes. he just showed me tonight that he bought a third phone. he's often having 2 conversations at once, one on each phone. i was like boss, i really think you have a problem. like you really don't understand how insane this makes you look. it's okay to just ... go to bed at night. or take an hour to yourself where you leave all phones and just chill the fuck out. do YOU. he said he can't even imagine. the thought of not having them makes his chest hurt. jesus christ. so i don't know, i get kind of turned on thinking of snatching his phones out of his hands and tossing them aside as he reaches helplessly for them, you know. the whole nine yards. he just seems like he never gets laid! it's impossible that someone this high strung gets laid regularly. so i always imagine that the amazing power of my pussy will transform him, if but for a moment, into "relaxed boss" who can just slow down and take a deep breath. haha i know that sounds ridiculous but that's how it is with boy. he says i just make him melt. i know exactly what he likes. i like to imagine that's my superpower. so anyway, that's what's going on. things are great with boy, btw. most things are going alright. wow now i am super tired! it came over me in a wave. that is all for today. |