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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
peace.
2018-09-09 @ 10:52 a.m.
the weather is finally getting better. i slept like a baby last night, windows slightly opened, AC turned off. my room was cool and so comfortable. i woke up today with my little baby boy snuggled up in the plastic from the cleaners, just nearby. he made some dreamy eyes at me and usually he'll get up and come lay on my chest while i scratch his whiskers, but today i had to pee so i told him to come on and get up. he trotted out with me into the living room and we opened all the windows, letting in the cool breeze. it's so quiet except for the sound of my fan, and the rain, and the occasional bluejay shouting in the woods behind us. i almost turned the tv on when i came out here but instead i made my coffee and just sat down, savoring the silence, the stillness. i keep thinking about turning it on but i love too much the peace of this moment. my whole life is at peace. i have absolutely nothing to worry about except for myself and what i want to do next. my goals, my hopes, and my dreams. for so long, for so many years, my body felt so tightly wound. i think i wrote last time that i always felt like i was vibrating, the same kind of sensation you get close to power lines. that static energy that feels like it could pop off any moment. with each passing day that sensation sloughs off of me, little by little, and i feel so much more grounded and still. i am so happy and calm and grateful for this moment, this day, this new life. |