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�what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux

"i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes

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so, this is my life.

2015-02-12 @ 9:29 a.m.

this is a quickie, so i'll write about it today.

here's an example of one of the incredibly troubling and depressing conversations i will have in any given day.

little A: my mom lives at [scummy gf's] house now.
me: oh, really? that's a lot of people living there now.
little A: yeah, but not really because [scummy gf's eldest child] is going to live with his grandma.
me: oh? in the middle of the school year? why is that?
little A: yeah, he's tired of getting hit.
me: ....? someone's hitting him? who?
little A: [scummy girlfriend]! (said like, duh, obviously, who else would it be)
me: ........
me: ... like hitting him?
little A (again, like i should have known this): yeah, like (pantomimes a person standing above someone else, punching them hard) ... beatin' the crap out of him.
me: dude ... that's really bad. that's not cool at all. you can't just beat your kids, you know.
little A: i know! she beats all her kids (said all blase, like you know, whatever). but someone called DYFS on her, that's why they're taking [eldest child] away.
me: .........
little A: it was [eldest child]'s dad!
me: ....................................

interesting backstory on [eldest child]'s dad. he used to beat the shit out of [scummy girlfriend], beat the shit out of [eldest child], threw [scummy girlfriend] down the stairs, etc. so she left him, she and [eldest child] living in a shelter for a while then who knows what, then she had two more kids by different dudes. apparently [scummy girlfriend] was still allowing [eldest child] to see his father for some reason(??), because not that long ago little A was saying something in passing about how [eldest] was going to his dad's for the weekend, but HATED going there. and i was like, well why is he going then? and he says, because [scummy girlfriend] makes him. and i'm like well why does he hate going? and he says all casually, oh because he's really mean to him. beats him up and stuff.

and every time i hear this shit i'm just ... so many fucking things.

1. why the fuck is this like ..... normal to you guys?
2. what the fuck kind of mother MAKES her child go visit his abusive father?
3. what the fuck kind of mother beats her kids??
4. what the fuck kind of mother thinks it's a good idea to bring her own child into this kind of environment on a regular basis?
5. what the fuck kind of person would want to even associate with, LET ALONE date or be in a relationship with, this kind of human being?
6. just what the actual fuck?

so yeah, cool. this is the perfect illustration of satan's decision-making ability. sometimes people think i'm just being this self-righteous stepmother bitch when i try to describe what a piece of crap she is, but i'll let her choices speak for themselves.

so now boy and i have to have a serious talk about limiting little A's time over there, talking to her about how if she wants to pick him up for the weekend, we don't want him going there, etc. [scummy girlfriend]'s middle child is little A's best friend, practically his brother, and a really great kid despite his circumstances. so what, now we're going to be the bad guys because they'll never be able to hang out, we're just trying to make things difficult, etc. etc.

oh and also, we're going to need to put him in the before and after school program so she's going to need to pay more child support. obviously we're not going to let her pick him up and spend that much more unsupervised time with him, that would be crazy. can't even wait for the level of insanity and harassment that will ensue after that conversation.