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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
my heart is full.
2010-08-02 @ 12:47 a.m.
today he just walked up to me and wrapped his arms all around me and kissed me so sweetly, and it's been forever since we've done that since he's never not working, and he just said, "thank you," and i said, "why?" and he said, "for everything you do for me." but doesn't he know i'd do everything and more for him? i think he does, but sometimes he doubts it because that ex-wife was just so crazy that he can't believe someone can be so honest and true and completely loving towards him. we were sitting together in the basement later, and he was smoking and i was stroking his leg, and he just realized he was going to be 27 in a month. and i said, "yeah, that actually is weird to say. we're in our late twenties now." and it is kind of weird when you think of it, because he sees it as sort of wasting his life, but i see it as moving back toward each other. everything worthwhile takes time. it's true. later, when i was laying with him til he fell asleep, i kissed him and put my head on his chest and he just stroked my arm in an absent way. and it's just like when i creep into bed in the middle of the night, and he reflexively tucks his toes under my leg ... i never want to be away from him. my heart is connected to this man in a way i have never felt before. for seven years to have passed with no contact, then suddenly to feel exactly as we did long ago, for things to be so easy and natural ... how could i want for more? this is the stuff that stupid romance movies dramatize, but it can really happen that way. my heart is swollen. my heart is full. |