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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
what's going on:
2012-04-16 @ 10:41 a.m.
yesterday was a stupid arguing day, which was probably precipitated in part by the situation going on with my brother. but boy has a serious attitude problem sometimes, and he doesn't realize how it makes me feel, regardless of his intentions. so i made sure to let him know. because no one wins when you say nothing. which leads us to the situation with my brother and his now ex (i guess?) girlfriend. they were 3 months away from the wedding, dress purchased, my brother has a tattoo of a wedding ring, and everything. and this girl just disappears, won't answer any phonecalls, won't text anyone back about it. my brother still doesn't know what happened. she won't tell him. she's been saying for over a week now that she'll talk to him about it, but won't. she just says that, promises to call back later, and then never does. i have no idea what to tell him. usually i have great advice for people, but the only thing i can say is that i don't understand it either. the only useful thing that has come out of this is that he now knows what kind of person she is. i feel so bad for him because there is no closure, and who knows if there ever will be. apparently she's the kind of person who disappears and avoids ever answering for anything. how can you claim to devote your love to someone, and that you plan to be with them for a lifetime, but you won't even tell them what they've done to cause you to do a complete about face with no explanation? the only thing that any of us can guess that makes any sense is that a lot of this stuff that's been going on is because of her mother, my stepmom (yeah, i've said so many times that this is a super awkward/difficult situation). they (stepsister and stepmother) have had a really bad relationship, and we all think that stepmom is using this as a way to get back into her daughter's life. we've all known that stepmom didn't think that my brother was good enough for her daughter, and i totally wouldn't be surprised if this is a "him or me" situation. since daughter and stepmom have both been really shady and secretive throughout this whole thing, i really wouldn't put it past either of them. so brother is more angry than heartbroken right now, because how could the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with treat you like this? like you're not even worth the time of day to explain what the problem is? he's coming up here later today just because he needs to be out of that house, because it's only him and stepmom there. my dad is going away for a couple of days sometime this week, too, and he just doesn't want to be alone in that house like that. locked in their room, looking at all of their things together, not having any idea why, with the woman who knows why sitting outside, refusing to say a word. i can't imagine what it must be like to be in his situation. so it's weird. and it really sucks. it's stressing everyone out. both my brother and mom want the ring back, though. it was a family heirloom, and is worth about as much as a compact car. they both think it's really disrespectful for her to be still holding on to it and wearing it around if she's going to continue to refuse to explain any of this. and you know, my brother was going on about second chances and how he would be willing to work it out, and all that. and i had to say that i was really surprised to hear that from him because it's clear to me at least that she has no regard for anyone but herself. i would be really afraid of a person like that doing the same thing again, later. this whole situation arose in the first place because she said she felt she couldn't trust him. but how can he trust her now? my brother just called (it's now 1:06) and said that she actually finally called my mom back, and that she was crying so much that my mom could barely have a conversation with her. she was supposed to go over to talk to my brother today, in person finally, but he is so fed up and upset that he's still coming up here as planned. he said she gets another couple of hours, and if she doesn't keep that promise then he doesn't care anymore; she can feel what it's like to wait. my mom, on the other hand, thinks he should sit around all day and wait to see if she shows up. i agree with him. fuck her. there's a certain amount of consideration that you give in these situations, but then sometimes the other person is just being a douche. it's cool if she wants time alone. 3 weeks? a month? totally cool. totally NOT cool, however, to promise and promise something to someone you're supposed to care about, and then keep blowing them off, especially when it's this big a deal. for whatever reason. just be honest and straightforward. no one will fault you for that. so here i am, waiting around. doing some laundry, stuff like that. just thinking about my own life, and getting this place tidied up. it's really hot today though so i'm planning to get as much done as i can before i decide to give up and hide in a cooler part of the house. i am still hoping for the best. |