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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
for 2013.
2013-01-01 @ 11:51 a.m.
the past few days my inbox has been blowing up with orders from my shop. i really, really hope this continues. people have been super positive about my items in feedback, moreso than usual, which makes me feel pretty proud of myself. like i feel like my color sense and my process have improved so much since i started doing this. and also my pictures are WAYY better than they used to be. everything is falling into place. i just need to keep working and stop worrying. keep working and stop worrying. i'll try to sit and repeat it to myself until it sinks in and then i can be victorious. we didn't do anything for new year's eve last night, we just ended up eating snacks super late and sitting around watching south park. if i start writing about the things that made the night super annoying, this entry will get negative really fast. so let's just leave it at that. i bought a planner last year that i never used, and i think that i really need to use one this year. i was thinking about laying out my own pages and stuff, because organizing is so much more effective when you use your own system, but then i think that the process of binding it to my satisfaction will end up costing more than just buying one. we shall see. that goes on my "getting seriously organized for 2013" list. but whatever i go with, i really do need something. there are so many things you're supposed to be doing as a business owner these days. so much blogging and use of social media. a flickr friend who is a visual artist was having the same kinds of frustrations, so he posted a revised plan of intentional social media usage going forward. it was like, flickr will be for these things. instagram will be for this, pinterest will be for this, and tumblr will be for this. that's it. if it doesn't fit into those categories then it really needs to be evaluated to see if it's that important in the first place. i like this system a lot, because i get easily bogged down in nonsense. there is so much out there to just ... look at. how can we better keep ourselves on track? speaking of getting ourselves on track. we ate SOOOO much crappy food yesterday. and you know i'm all about eating whatever you want in moderation. but there is a point that i personally reach where too much "bad" food actually makes me feel like shit. now that i've become used to 1) being always well-hydrated, 2) eating the recommended amount of fiber daily, and 3) eating fewer carbs than i used to, when i go on a few days long binge on mozz sticks, wings, pizza, soda, and all that stuff, i can't poop, i start developing a yeast infection, and i wake up in the middle of the night SUPER HOT. i guess it's all of the sodium and sugars bombarding me. but it really makes me uncomfortable! last night boy fell asleep on the couch and came to bed at about 5am, and boycat jumped on him in the dark, and his startled cry woke me up. from the moment i woke up, i was hot/cold/hot/cold, tummy rumbling and making all kinds of gross sounds, and so gassy. UGH! ANYWAY. that's all i really have for right now. both boy and i are trying so hard to focus ourselves only on the things that are really important. it feels good to vent about bullshit but i think i spend too much time focusing on it, because it is my nature to fret and worry. so i'm going to try. looking back on my list of hopes and dreams from last year, i could be disappointed that i ended up with only about 25% completion, but then again, facing the depression and life changes and lack of focus has made me proud that i was able to accomplish that much. the 25% i did accomplish was in some vital categories, so i'm proud of that too. so instead of ending with a list of resolutions and things for me to beat myself up about, i'm just resolving to continue my work with passion, and to stop comparing, and stop getting down. move forward. any movement forward toward your dream is 100% more useful than sitting still. |