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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
lockdown.
2008-12-19 @ 10:23 p.m.
he didn't come in today and i felt horribly lonely without him. i was out yesterday and i wish i had known i wouldn't see him until next week. it seems like forever, these two days. i know i shouldn't, but i have the option of locking myself away with him on monday. i almost want to - i almost want to see how far he'll go. it seems too long to wait till after the holiday. honestly? if he wanted to get together, i would. i know i know i know it's wrong, but i would. i hate this overwhelming desire. he's like an exotic food that i just have to taste. maybe i won't like it, but maybe i will. i can't live not knowing. the other one is equally warm and distant. i don't know what his deal is. but i won't stop until i get some. sometimes i hate being myself. |