i've been posting more than usual lately. it's because my heart is full of love for him, and i don't know where else to put it. all day today i couldn't wait to get home so i could go to bed and see him sooner. tomorrow i have a half day, and it's probably going to feel like forever. i am never happier than when i am with him.

i can't wait to get down to the beach with him, and just forget about everything up here. forget about his ex-wife, and his shitty job, and my shitty job, and all of the money he owes for whatever, and all of the people who are hateful and deceitful and who take advantage of others. we'll just be together, calm and quiet and considerate of each other, and it will be beautiful.

his kisses in the dark, and the way he looks at me when he doesn't think i'm paying attention.

i don't even want to go to work tomorrow i am so giddy.

i can no longer concentrate. i need to go to bed.

2012-12-17: heavy.
2012-12-15: undertow.
2012-12-14: nothing new.
2012-12-11: so, how was it?
2012-12-06: sex and physical therapy don't mix.



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i am a horrible person. i'm insecure. i'm crass, i'm cruel. i love but i am heartless. i write these things so i never forget who i am. in here, i withhold nothing. i live my life with no filter. this is the ugly, honest, hurtful, barebones, truth. i am not right. i am contagious.

i am trying my hardest to be a better person.