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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
just thinking.
2010-06-26 @ 8:21 p.m.
it's the little things, the way he touches me or does something he really doesn't need to that makes my heart flutter and i fall deeper and deeper in love with him. the other day i was hugging him, and my arms were around his waist and he just looked down at me and said "you make me happy." just for no reason, but i almost started tearing up because sometimes that's all you need to hear when you're having a bad day. yesterday he was all stressed out because he couldn't afford to take me out to dinner, so i gave him a blowjob that was apparently so excellent that he couldn't stop twitching for the longest time afterward. his knees were weak and he could barely make it back downstairs with me. we made dinner together and it was delicious, then we did whatever and made it up to bed later. he made love to me nice and slowly, kissing me all over. when it was over he rolled back over to his side of the bed as usual, but stretched his leg out so it was touching mine. and i just thought it was a really sweet, intimate gesture. something as simple as touching someone, saying you're still connected. he's up seeing his son today and i want him back. i love to kiss his shoulders. i love to watch him sleep. my job was over yesterday. it was a complete relief ... there was no anxiety like everyone keeps expecting me to feel. i wasn't happy there and i'm in no hurry to find anything new just yet. the graduation was fantastic, and i was so happy to see so many of my past and gone kids remember me and tell me how much they loved my class. i guess it's close to the same kind of joy that parents feel when their kids look at them and do whatever kids do. this is as close to a maternal instinct as i'll ever have, so i can only imagine. but it's nice, and i do miss them. i will miss them and my coworkers, but that's it. i'm ready for a change. |