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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
what a weekend.
2010-10-17 @ 8:50 p.m.
what a weekend. i started writing about what was happening on friday, but tears started and then a hurried packing ensued, so what i started saying ended up not being the case. friday was our anniversary. i started writing about how much i hated his boss for making him work so hard and so late all the time. we had a trip planned since last year for this weekend, then his boss suddenly decides that he needs to devote 100% of his time to getting this project done. even though he's entitled to overtime after 8 hours and on the weekends, the boss never pays him (even though he's contractually obligated to!!) because he knows bf is "job scared" and would never go to the union about it. so on friday, the original plan was for me to drive up there after he got off of work and spend the night so we could leave for our trip from there (it's 1.5 hours closer, saved driving time). neither of us mentioned our anniversary. i thought he forgot because he was so busy that week. he was talking about having to work on saturday, too, before we left, and then he was talking about how he might not even be able to go on the trip, so i was already feeling kind of down. he kept calling me throughout the day to update his status, and he kept telling me it was going to be later and later before he was able to get home. i told him i would leave anytime, as long as it wasn't TOO late (like 1am is a little late to drive all the way up there). finally, he called me at like 6:30 to say that he wouldn't be getting done work until 9, making him not get home until 10, so he wouldn't get to sleep until at least 12:30-1 after eating and showering, then he'd only be able to sleep 3 hours because he'd have to get up at 4 for work. i just said nevermind then, i'd come up in the morning if it was too much trouble. i didn't want to keep him up all night and make him miss sleep and be exhausted for work. he said he was just going to leave work then, because he really didn't want to be there for another second, but he wasn't sure. i just told him it would be so much easier for me to come up in the morning. i hung up with him and just started sobbing my eyes out. our first anniversary and we don't get to spend it together? that's when i started writing here. my heart felt like it was breaking inside my chest. about 5 minutes later, he texted me something along the lines of, "i thought you said you'd come tonight and that 10 wasn't too late. i didn't forget what today is, but i guess you did. whatever." then i started bawling. the whole reason i didn't mention the day earlier was because i didn't want to stress him out and make him stay up late. he was already feeling guilty about not being able to get home to see me early enough, and then he was feeling guilty about letting his boss down. i just didn't want to inconvenience him. i called him and left a teary message explaining that, and he called back and said he was sorry, that he was leaving now. i was just sobbing, "i'm sorry, i didn't think i was going to get to see you today. i would never forget. i could never forget." so i left my house at 7:30, raced up there and made it into his arms. we had dinner at 10pm and were both super sleepy, but made it home and into bed. it was so good that night. well spent. in the morning, i woke up to the sound of people in the house. he said that people were coming to move things out, but i didn't think they'd be coming at 8 am. two people barged into the room, and i rolled over confusedly, and they said sort of angrily, "who are you?" and i had no idea what was going on, so i just said, "[boyfriend]'s girlfriend?" and they said, "who's [boyfriend]?" and i'm completely puzzled now, because he told me that the people who were coming to move things were his family and his mother's friends. so i said, "[bf's mom]'s son?" and laughed, because i was so goddamn confused, so they just slammed the door and left the house. it turns out that "they" were his grandmother and his aunt, and i had just met them in the most awkward way possible. i got up about a half hour later and got dressed, then went down and introduced myself properly. they apologized profusely and were actually really sweet. i offered some banana bread i had baked the day before, and they said no at first, then decided to try it. they loved it (and bf called today to tell me that they were STILL talking about it all day today!). we all talked for about an hour, and when bf got home (EARLY!!!), i could hear them talking to him on the porch saying, "she's so sweet. she's just like [cousin]'s wife. and so well-spoken and polite. and she can cook!" they invited us to come visit and stay at their houses, and wanted me to come to the holidays to meet everyone. it was delightful. we went on our trip and returned, so exhausted from lack of sleep the night before that i spent the night again. we went out to grab something to eat and got in a really stupid fight before we made it back home, but it blew over quickly and the evening ended beautifully. this morning we woke up way too early and i had to go home. his irresponsible, horrible mother left her cat behind when she fled the state so i brought her with me. i'm trying to get her and my boy to get along, but there's still a fair amount of hissing. they just need time. one year. one year with the man i love. life is good. eta: just forgot to add, but had to because it made me laugh - bf said while they were packing yesterday, he happened upon his grandmother in the kitchen, eating my bread, saying to herself: "i just don't know how she gets it to be so fucking moist!" |