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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
you should have been able to see into the future.
2010-10-27 @ 1:08 p.m.
okay, first things first: kirby's epic yarn is the best $50 investment i've made lately. it's beautifully made, the music is just gorgeous (i mean quiet, delicate notes of piano gorgeous), and the gameplay is a delight. it's not a difficult game by any stretch of the imagination. anyone could pick this game up and play it. what makes it challenging is getting gold medals and 100% completion in each level. and then the minigames! i have to restrict myself to only an hour or so of play a day because if i didn't, i could easily sit down and play this all day. straight from waking up to bedtime. it's so refreshing. so yesterday. i drove up there early because he left early, and we smoked and drove way up to north jersey and had dinner at this phenomenal cajun/tex-mex restaurant called jose tejas. i was surprised to learn that it was a chain, but we had a great time despite our shitty waiter. he was one of those guys whose contempt for the customers was so obvious that it was almost funny, and while i was able to laugh at it, boy was SO mad. he treated me to dinner, which was good of him because he tipped him under 10% knowing that if i had paid, i would never have done it. i'm just one of those people. but really, if you can't even fake nice, you should probably find a job where you don't rely on tips as your income. so we went home and watched some south park on netflix since there's no cable (and now no furniture save a twin bed D:) in that house. he started getting drowsy because there was no real way for two adults to sit on that bed other than kind of laying or sitting semi-upright. so when he started going down, we smoked some more and of course i decided that his clothes needed to come off. that's just what happens when i get started on it. so he wanted to finish the bowl, and i started massaging him - everything between his knees and his bellybutton. a nice, slow, sensuous massage. and soon enough, i went up through the legs of his shorts and moved the massage under the fabric, and he was almost wiggling out of his body with delight. he could hardly smoke because he was twitching and trembling and sighing so much, and the longer i teased and stroked him, the hotter i was getting too. he always smokes a cigarette after he smokes a bowl, so he asked if he could smoke, and i said, "you can do whatever you want to. i'm perfectly happy to make you happy," and he just leaned back into the pillows and said, "wow." sometimes he can't believe that i'm a woman who likes to give as much as receive, and maybe even a little more so. but i always tell him that's because i'm a woman, not a girl. nothing like the girls he used to date. sex was intense and sweaty and fantastic except for the fucking bed. there is no reasonable way to have sex on a twin bed. no matter what position we were in, it felt like the bed was going to shake apart. i suggested tossing blankets on the ground, and he said absolutely not, so there were moments of ridiculous pleasure punctuated by awkward moments of intense fear that the mattress was going to go plummeting through the ancient bed frame and subsequently through the damaged wood floors. he came twice, the second time thrashing around, covering his mouth daintily like a schoolgirl in a bad movie. we tried for a third, but he just didn't have anything left. we collapsed together, and he told me that's exactly what he needs in his life, and i told him i think i saw a little bit into my future. i told him he needed to stop living in north jersey, and he told me i should never have bought a house in south jersey. i said, "what the hell!? i bought this house when i didn't even know you!" and he replied, "well you should have just anticipated that one day you'd be with me." i bit him and kissed his sweaty armpit, fell asleep a little bit, then finally dragged myself onto the floor where my clothes lived so i could get out of there. he had to work today and i was just exhausted, so i kissed him goodbye and left. today one of my bffs from work came over to get some weed and tell me how horrific it is there these days. it's such an anti-teacher environment. i tell her that i wake up every day so happy that i got laid off because i honestly couldn't stand it anymore. it's a wake up call when you're sitting around with one of your other co-workers, discussing ways to kill yourself matter of factly, like you're talking about how to fucking spackle a hole in the wall. the last time i felt that miserable and hopeless was when i lived at my mother's house, right before i went away to college. i feel so bad for this friend, who has a terrible nerve disorder which is totally negatively affected by stress. while she was telling me about the past couple weeks, she started breaking out in hives, and a lesion appeared on her arm. like out of nowhere. there's no reason for her to live like this. so here we are now. it's taken me all day to write this with all of the interruptions. but i'm feeling a little bit better than the other day. still lonely, but i get to have him this weekend so it can't be all bad. we have huge plans, but we'll probably end up only smoking, fucking, and eating, as usual. |