| profile entries archives refresh |
 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
on having reached the bottom of the well, to find it empty:
2011-04-27 @ 10:41 a.m.
i was just on the phone with best friend, and i felt it, finally, the detachment. i finally felt myself not caring, not being worried or upset for her, like i was hearing a soap opera's plot or something. it was too much too soon, too much nonsense from her, too much illogical behavior and refusal to correct the situation, and i think the mental overload finally caught up to me. my brain is fatigued from trying to help her out, trying to figure her life out for her, so i just can't care. she called me this morning to tell me that she really did break up with that guy, but told him she wanted to remain fuck buddies so he was happy with that and it continued on. he was supposed to meet her last night to do something and he never showed or called. this morning, he finally did, and made up a crazy excuse for why, so she finally accepted that he was fucking around on her. she told him to come and pick up his crap and never talk to her again, and he said, "oh, while you're already mad, i figured i should tell you that when we first started dating, the condom broke and i didn't tell you. also, i've been taking testosterone pills this whole time too." and she was like wow, really? particularly because she's already had 2 abortions and says they were extremely traumatizing to her, and she's told him this, but he was just like, "ehh whatever. just keep an eye on it." so totally awesome, maybe having two illegitimate kids with douchebag fathers. the new kid is probably going to be super fucked up since she's been drinking heavily and smoking insane amounts of weed daily. like i said, mostly devoid of care, i simply received this information and told her good luck and to let me know how it turns out. i feel bad for her but she insists upon doing it to herself and my soul just can't handle the weight of it anymore. i'm out. ETA two seconds later: how can people have such a cavalier attitude toward potentially being pregnant? i'm 100% pro-choice and i know i would personally have an abortion if i got pregnant at any time, because being pregnant and producing an entire human being is the last thing on this earth i want to do. as a result, i do everything i can possibly do to ensure that this does not occur, because i'd really rather not ever experience an abortion in the first place. so why? how? after saying it was "extremely traumatizing"? she actually referred to their "birth control" method as "pull and pray." really? must not have been that upsetting if you're playing russian fucking roulette with two lives, potentially three. okay really, that's it this time. |