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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
i do what i like, just what i like and how i love it!
2012-04-14 @ 10:44 a.m.
i was writing this big long thing on monday about my interest in time travel and blah blah. i got almost done, a couple of paragraphs from done, and i had to get up and do something else, because boy was around. so then i ended up falling asleep, not having time to finish, and then my friend comes over the next day. and she needs to use my computer, and i'm like ugh jesus, i hope that window isn't still open when she goes in there (because she did use dland back in the day, and i don't need her to be reminded of it), but we open up the lid of my computer and the screen is all fucking blank and windows wouldn't load properly. i was like wow, i was hoping that window wouldn't come up and instead my whole computer won't come up. ugh. luckily some restarting fixed the problem, but the whole entry was gone. so between then and now, i found out my brother and his (almost) wife are fighting. and it's WAYYYY too long a story to even begin to explain here, but the important parts are that she thinks he's cheating on her because of some really stupid shit that he did a long time ago (not at all cheating in any way, he randomly had some old clothes hidden), and is staying elsewhere. and like, this girl has a bunch of "girl" friends, you know the kind that you see on tv and movies that are just man-hating, totally nonsensical clucking chickens. and i'm sure that they're just sitting there telling her how bad a guy my brother is and that all of the clues totally point to him cheating on her because that's what was in cosmo this month. so i hate to admit it, but as cool as i'm trying to play it to my brother, i'm kind of worried about what these girls are trying to tell her. maybe i'm just being a jerk. but i'm a girl, and i've had girl friends, and i know what we do. whatever the case may be, i know he didn't do it. he would never. he's had some seriously horrible hags of girlfriends. i mean some real harpies. and all the while, other totally hot and not assholey girls were like literally coming at him with no clothes on, and he's like sorry. i have a girlfriend. he's that guy who mates forever, no matter how terribly a girl treats him. so i just hope that she is just using her rights as a female to make him feel as miserable as possible, and she's going to talk to him soon. i hope. it was so weird though, my dad calling me to ask my advice and opinion about the whole situation. he even laughed and said, look at me, your dad, calling for advice. but you're old now. and i was like, wow. i am. in my mind with my dad, i'm always 10 years old. i always have to remember where i am and what's going on when i speak to him. boy came home and told me about what a total asshole ex wife is. and yesterday while we were driving to pick up dinner, they had this yelling conversation on the phone, and she said something that he was so stunned and horrified and taken aback by that he wouldn't even repeat it to me. so i didn't even ask, because what the fuck does she have to say that i need to hear? really? she's an awful person and a terrible mother who uses her child as a pawn in a game that she cannot win. she emotionally abuses that child, and it's disgusting. no child should ever be told, in seriousness or in jest, that one of their parents doesn't love them. it's just not cool, for any reason. so he's trying to ask this stupid cunt yesterday if he can pick his kid up or not for the weekend, since she won't ever answer the phone when he calls, and she starts going on about how he's a terrible father, and he's never there, and blah blah, and he's like okay okay, yeah yeah, same old shit. how can you expect me to be there when you won't answer any of my phonecalls, and then when you do, and i'm asking if i can come and be there for my kid, you never give me a straight answer and start going on and on about nonsense and hang up on me? so she was like okay, i have plans this weekend so you can come pick him up. and he said you told him to apologize to [tinea] for lying? and boy says, yeah, i did, and she says, "no son of mine will ever apologize to a [racial slur]." so boy didn't tell me about that yesterday, but chose to tell me about it today after she started the day with a crazy rambletext about how he's never there, and she's so exhausted, and he's a terrible person who sides with his "friend" over his kid, and little A says he doesn't care if he ever sees him again. then this afternoon, it's another rambletext about how she wishes they could be friends, and she really is trying to make this work but why is he (boy) trying to make life difficult for everyone, and she really wants little A to have his father in his life. wtf? god she is so fucking crazy. i always feel really bad about saying this, but it would make so many people's lives better if she just died. she's such a burden to so many people. she doesn't contribute to society in any way, and is just this negative spot of energy in the world. grind her up and make her into feed. at least then she'd be doing something helpful. so this is the time to interject that i started writing this on wednesday, and here it is saturday and i'm just now getting to finish it. nothing is resolved yet with my brother, but there are some shady family happenings going on. i will elaborate when i find out exactly what's going on. but in the meantime, i'm going to be really excited about today. boy actually came home yesterday and said that he's not working today!!! he's got a whole weekend off!? holy shit. forreal. so yesterday we talked about all of this stuff we wanted to do this weekend, and in general. some of it was in light of what i talked about with my brother. he's all about changing his life and being a better guy. and let's be honest, there were a lot of things he needed to change, or that i didn't approve of, anyway. he swapped his heroin addiction for alcohol. everyone knew it, and everyone saw that he was a functioning alcoholic, but i think everyone was also so relieved he wasn't stealing our money and snorting it anymore that they forgot that it's equally not cool to drink a fifth of rum a day. so boy was like yeah, it's getting nice out, the summer's almost here, and i want to get in shape. (he has gained at least 20 lbs in the past couple months, solely from uncontrolled snacking.) and both of us are at fault for the late dinners we've been having, and their generally low quality. so we discussed how we're going to stop being so lazy sometimes and do what we know we need to do. he needs to stop being so picky about what we eat, because it makes it harder for me, especially when i know that i'm such a good cook that it doesn't really matter what i make, because he'll like it either way. a long time ago, he said "i'll eat anything as long as it's good." so don't worry. i'll make it great. so anyway. today, we're headed out to the beach!! to go to one of our favorite little places, then we're going to take the long, cruisey way back, snap a lot of pictures, buy me some new bras, have amazing sushi for dinner, and rest. together. then tomorrow. best friend is having her kid's father do our logos and printing and signs for our new business because he can do it all for free after hours at his job (at a print shop). his only request was that he receive a desk as payment, since he doesn't have one. best friend called to tell me this, and i was like, "wow! what an awesome coincidence, since i have a desk sitting upstairs in my hallway that i've wanted to get rid of since i redecorated my office." i've been annoyed at myself for letting the desk sit on the back burner and clutter up my house. i should have called the salvation army forever ago to get rid of it, but things happen as they are supposed to, because now the desk is going to someone who needs it! AND it will be out of our way, AND we are getting sweet graphic work done in exchange. everything works out so well in life, if you let it! so tomorrow we're taking that over to her house, then taking a beautiful warm weather bike ride, then gaming and enjoying naked time. i'm so excited, and so happy. the other day boy was telling me (as usual) about how much he hates his job, and i said, "well that's because you're the kind of guy who needs to be his own boss. you need to only answer to yourself." and he said, "well, myself or you. you'd be a great boss. and i like you. so it's win-win." haha. soon, bebe! |