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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
changing focus.
2012-07-13 @ 10:19 a.m.
when you're feeling hopeless and useless and purposeless in life, pick up a new hobby. learn how to do something. anything. i guarantee things will start making more sense and coming together. and if they don't, and you're not feeling it (whatever the new hobby may be), try something different. it's the feeling of accomplishment, of a job well done, of having a goal and achieving it. it will clear your head. i only say this because some parts of this week were killer. not nearly as bad as several weeks ago, but surprise expenses kept popping up and we were just so frustrated and super worried. and so instead of focusing on the stuff that was going wrong, and freaking out about the stress, i busied myself with some things to do. a little bit was housework and organization stuff but i also decided i was going to start learning how to sew clothing. i've said this at least 100 times before, but it always looks too daunting when i start trying to figure out where to start. which seems really silly when i think about it, because i usually sew elaborate handbags and stuff (sans pattern), so why am i thinking that sewing together a couple of rectangles or a circle and following instructions will be harder than that? so anyway, it's given me something to focus my energies on, and to keep me positive in general, instead of crumbling and freaking out and being unable to function. the insomnia is not back, but when i feel myself unable to sleep because my thoughts are starting to race about the stressful stuff, i have that other, positive, good-feeling thing to turn them to. it's not much, but it's something. and sometimes that something is enough to keep you going. you know what else is enough to keep me going? this news, which is probably the best i have heard in a long time. i am so completely and genuinely thrilled about this that i can't even believe it! this is my favorite, favorite show of all time. and just the other day, i was thinking about it, and how i wanted to watch it again in its entirety because the last time i did i was much younger, and i related to it on a different level. there were different things that spoke to me then, and i was interested to see how i would feel about it now. but then i hear this amazing news, and very interestingly read this little snippet (from that same article): Mitsuishi (usagi's voice actor) added in her blog that the "enemy" is not the Dark Kingdom, but she was speaking metaphorically, not literally. She said that the figurative enemy is her own self from the first Sailor Moon anime; she is comparing her audacious performance then to her acting now. reading that made me over 9000 times more excited than i was before. a somewhat more mature, reflective usagi? a little more restrained? i wonder. it's so interesting that (if mitsuishi actually does reprise her role), she gets to reinvent this thing that she created that is so iconic and so beloved. where will she take it? i am like, dying to see this and find out. anyway. so many turns of good fortune and good news this morning. and, i can't wait for boy to get home! the other day we were in the bedroom, just sitting on the bed smoking in the afternoon, and i said, "man, these toes really need a pedicure." and he was silent for a moment, and was like, "um okay, where do you get that?" and i said, "later tonight, in this bed, you doing it?" and he was like "... you want me to paint your toenails?" and i said, "it would be awesome, if you think you can." and then he's like, "i'll fucking do it." and when he said that, i was like, awesome. because what he didn't realize was that i know he has to be a man and prove that he can do absolutely everything. so by saying, "if you think you can," i was pretty much questioning his manhood in general, and guaranteeing a sexy pedicure in bed. ha! sorry honey. i know you too well. |