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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
briefly, reflective:
2012-07-24 @ 10:44 a.m.
i've been friends with this author for going on 10 years now. we met back when everyone had a website, everyone was blogging, but it was like more diary? more personal. if you were doing that stuff back in 2000, 2001, you'll know what i'm talking about. in fact, if you're even on dl in the first place then you most likely know exactly what i'm talking about. but anyway. this guy is a real, published author. and he's such a great guy. but he has just been having this awful luck lately in life. all of these tragic things keep happening to him, and he's writing about it on lj, friends only, and though i've known this guy for most of my adult life, i have no idea what to say. no matter how i write it out, nothing sounds good enough, poetic enough, sorry enough to express how badly i feel for him, so i never say anything. and it's like, the first bad thing happened, then the second, and now we're up to like who knows even which number, and now i just feel like a real asshole. i haven't posted on lj in a couple of years, so it's not like i'm conspicuously avoiding him, but that's how my brain makes me feel. i need to just write him an email saying these things, because it might make us both feel a little better. so also today, in another universe, i would have been in va at my brother's wedding. he's so depressed about it. and it's easy to say from the outside, but he really dodged a bullet there! imagine if all of this had happened after he was married, after they had kids! but i know that's no reassurance to him because he's mourning the love lost, the life he thought he was going to have. people are so awful. i wonder if ex is even thinking about today, or if she's already forgotten everything. speaking of my brother. it was so awkward yet hilarious last night. he and boy and i were all in the kitchen, getting ready for bed, and my brother starts talking about how he wishes he was getting laid. and we were like, we thought you were? because he's seeing multiple girls right now! and at least a couple of them he was sleeping with until a couple of weeks ago, but i guess that stopped happening so frequently. so he was like, yeah, i'm just going to go watch some porn in the basement and drink. and boy was like, haha, what kind are you watching? and started naming like weird shit, and my brother's like, naw, i'm just into watersports. and boy and i were like, dude you're into pee? and he says no, i thought it was female ejaculation? and we said no, definitely pee. and he's like oh shit i've been watching the wrong porn this whole time? but then he's like seriously though, it is my ultimate fantasy to meet a girl who can ejaculate. it just seems amazing. and i'm passing by boy, behind my brother, as he's saying this, and boy's and my eyes meet, and we both want to laugh but know we can't. and boy is like, dude? it truly is. and my brother gets so excited and is like oh my god, you've been with a girl who could do it!? what was it like!?? and boy is like yeah man, it's the hottest thing you will ever experience in your life! it is fucking amazing. and my brother is just going, awwww. so funny. but some things you just don't discuss with your brother. or maybe more importantly, there are some things your brother doesn't need to know about you. um ... i can't remember where else i was going. i had so many things i was thinking about when i woke up, but they just flew out of my brain. i'll write them down this time, if i remember. |