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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
resolution.
2012-08-21 @ 11:13 a.m.
so, i sent boy this long text yesterday, after we spoke, because i still felt like shit. i just wanted to clearly explain what i wrote here, so, i wrote ... basically what i wrote here. that i felt emotionally abandoned by him yesterday, and when i'm sad i only want/need one person, and that's him. so please don't leave me hanging like that. i said, put yourself in my shoes. first, you already know what you're upset about is stupid and you don't want to talk about it, but when you do you're met with anger. then you're laying there, crying and hurting because this is exactly why you didn't want to talk about it, and the one person you want to comfort you is sitting there trying to ignore you. imagine how that feels. and he called me back and said that he was really sorry and completely understood what i meant, and that he just didn't know what to do, and that he felt really offended and insulted that i would think he wasn't fully committed to the relationship. and i said that's where our miscommunication occurred - i didn't think that stuff at all, i just thought that joking about it was in extremely poor taste. so, many sorries were exchanged, and he came home super late and hugged me for a long time. and that's really all i wanted. yesterday something really great happened too. i found out we were approved for this program that is going to save us like ... SO much money. we already started talking last night about the things that we were going to cut out, and the things that we were going to do to get our finances in order. both of us should be able to pay off our debt in under 2 years and build a pretty substantial savings. as annoying as these communication issues are, i am glad that we have them and work through them and understand each other better. because in a few years, we're looking at selling my house and moving, and buying a new one together. so if there's anything shaky with us now i am glad to get it out of the way while things are relatively simple. and honestly? i think that probably, this whole little A moving in and boy getting custody thing is/was pretty tough. so how hard could a move be, when you think about it? listening to this on repeat helped a lot, too. |