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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
this is your biggest character flaw.
2012-08-20 @ 12:38 p.m.
last night, what the fuck. it was reminiscent of james brolin, the amityville horror. "i'm coming apart!" i don't know on which planet he comes from that he thinks some things are okay to say. we were sitting here, and a really poorly worded joke really stabbed me right in the heart. i know he didn't mean it, and i know he was only joking, but it was just not something you joke about. i can't really remember how exactly it was worded, but it was a joke that was like "haha, i'm not even fully invested in this relationship for a number of reasons, and especially because of [this stupid movie i liked when i was a kid]." i said it's one thing to joke around like we always do and say, "haha i don't even like you!" but it's 100% different to joke that you're not all in a relationship. like i understand that it was a joke, but he doesn't understand that a lot of people really do feel like that and they're hiding it from the other person. does he remember that this just happened to my brother? does he remember that this is why we broke up in high school? we were just talking the other day about our feelings coming back in to this and i said i was so afraid of it because of how he treated me back in high school, how it ended back then. it's just like ... a not funny thing. so he made the joke and it really upset me and i didn't say anything, because he's that guy who, when he realizes he made you upset, tries to blame it on you and tell you you're being ridiculous. so he kept bothering me to tell him what it was, though i just wanted to go to sleep and hopefully forget it, but he wouldn't leave me alone so i told him and exactly what i thought would happen, happened. i ended up more upset than i was before, and he got mad at me for being upset, and i was mad at him for just sitting there. he was just trying to ignore me, laying there, crying til my head hurt. i said, that's why i'm upset. because i want you to comfort me. it was you. you did something wrong. don't try to make me the villain for getting upset by it. he called me this morning on his way to work and apologized, but i'm still in a terrible mood. i really just want to be left alone today. how does a person learn to be more sensitive? |