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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
anaphylaxis.
2012-11-09 @ 10:18 a.m.
i think i almost died last night, and it was pretty terrifying. i was fighting boy about getting in bed, and i guess i wasn't paying any attention to what i was doing and took too many motrin? (i have found that the only way to deal with the absolutely unbelievable pain of my period cramps is to dose motrin [which i am allergic to; i must take a benadryl with it] all day whether i'm crampy or not, 6 hours between doses, and when the pain peaks in the afternoon/evening to take 1 percocet. i know this is stupid but no doctor will believe how painful it is and thus will not prescribe me anything that actually works.) so i'm not sure if i took an extra dose too close to the one i previously took, or if for some reason last night my body just decided it was going to go nuts. either way, i took 2, tried to get boy to wake up from the couch to come to bed, and when he wouldn't move, i went alone. i woke up at 1:34am with a little cough. it was just a dry little cough, so i remained laying down, coughed a couple of times, and tried to go back to sleep. there was still a funny feeling in the back of my throat, so i sat up and coughed a few more times. i had smoked a little bit before bed, so at this point i was thinking that it was just a little wheeze from smoking, even though smoking never makes me wheeze. the funny feeling wasn't going away though, despite coughing harder and harder, so i drank half of my bedside cup of water and tried to shake it off. shaking it off wasn't working, and it was getting harder and harder to breathe because the wheezing was getting worse, but i kept coughing because i just couldn't get any air. and weirder still, my lip really hurt, like i had bitten it or something, but i didn't have time to worry about that because it felt like i was having an asthma attack and my inhaler was in the basement. i got out of bed, still coughing and struggling for air, and stumbled into the bathroom to see what was the matter with my lip really quick before heading downstairs. standing and walking took an incredible effort due to my inability to breathe, and i was feeling super lightheaded due to the short, shallow breaths i was taking, and when i turned on the light in the bathroom i saw that the right half of my lip was INSANELY swollen. it looked like i had been stung by a bee. at that moment, i knew it was the motrin and not asthma, because it almost always gives me hives, usually on my face and neck. this was the first one i had ever had that was so severe. because i regularly take a medication that i know i am allergic to, i am hyper-vigilant when it comes to anything going on in my body that could mean it's getting out of hand, and i know very well the symptoms of anaphylaxis/anaphylactic shock. i had never had hives so severe, and while my throat becomes slightly tight sometimes, i had never had such extreme breathing difficulties. cue fear. i stumbled downstairs and saw boy sitting there, asleep on the couch, and didn't bother to wake him because i knew at this point i couldn't walk and talk at the same time. just walking took all of the effort i had, and i needed to get to my inhaler, because i know that epinephrine or adrenaline alleviates the symptoms of anaphylaxis. when i held that inhaler in my hand, i felt relieved but also terrified by the fact that it would help me, but i needed to be able to BREATHE to inhale it. i managed one big breath and puffed once, which freed my airways enough to take another. ah, oxygen. though i was able to breathe again somewhat, that didn't remedy the hives or the other symptoms that were really scaring me. once i hit the second step to go back upstairs, i became so lightheaded, so dizzy. like fireworks were exploding behind my eyes. my legs were so weak and i felt like i was going to throw up. i gripped the handrail and took one step at a time, pausing in between most of them, telling myself, "stay calm. stay calm. stay calm. stay awake. stay awake." when i reached the top step and the kitchen, i actually had to kneel on the floor for a moment to catch my breath because while i tried to walk, i could barely see, i could barely talk. i saw boy sitting there, still asleep, and i contemplated telling him to call 911, but i was so fucked up that if i had used my energy for that, i wouldn't have been able to make it to the kitchen counter to get the benadryl. i was standing there, holding on to the counter for dear life, and the room was spinning away as i again contemplated calling 911, but i talked myself out of it because a) it would take them at least 20 minutes to get here, and b) i have no insurance so between the ambulance ride and the ER this would end up costing me well over $1000. so instead, i took 2 benadryl and decided to take my chances and go back to bed. i was freezing cold but sweating, i was dizzy, my stomach was churning and my legs were buckling beneath me. as i passed through the living room to get back upstairs, i almost blacked out, but i just kept saying "stay awake, stay awake, stay awake." i made it to bed and propped myself up into a partial sitting position and got under the covers to warm myself, but i couldn't stand it because i was sweating so much and my stomach was really starting to hurt. i knew that i was in shock, and i am pretty sure that if possible you should avoid letting a shock victim pass out or go to sleep, so i went into the bathroom to try to poop or puke or anything to make my stomach feel better and to stay awake. i was in there about 15-20 minutes total (i went, left, and then went back), then i returned to bed and sat up a little while on the internet until i could feel my lip going down, the shivers subsiding, and aside from a little bit of nervousness, myself returning to normal. boy woke up and came to bed about 10 minutes after i was okay and falling asleep, and i was so exhausted that i didn't even want to try telling him what happened. we can discuss it today when he gets home. so obviously i know i shouldn't keep taking medicine that i'm allergic to, but i have no other option at the moment since i currently have my period. i AM going to begin researching how to get something that actually works, though. i love my gyno to death, i really do, but he's a man and cannot understand the pain. i might need to consult outside sources on this one, or try to find something on the street, or on the internet, though i know that's a terrible idea too. but i just can't live like this. and finally, if i'm going to irresponsibly take motrin for the time being, i'm not going to do it before bed. what if i hadn't woken up? what if i'd suffocated to death? i don't know man. shit's fucked up. |