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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
sorry guys, people probably won't change.
2013-07-26 @ 11:11 p.m.
i have a lot of stuff that i have to say, some updates on the situation with psycho, but they will have to wait til tomorrow when i have a lot more time (i hope this "lot more time" i speak of actually manifests tomorrow). i'm just popping in to say that i'm watching this documentary about asexuality, which is not so much puzzling to me as it's just ... another language that i do not, and will never be able to understand. as a self-described hypersexual person, i just can't even comprehend how anyone could go about their life that way. but i get it. it's not a choice for them. it's not natural to be otherwise. just like the maternal instinct is nowhere to be found within me. but the thing that made me start writing this was this guy describing how hard it is to keep and maintain close relationships without the sex part. how you'll have a huge group of really close friends and acquaintances, but when the shit hits the fan and life gets really serious, those people really don't have any obligation to stay around you. because the guy says: let's face it - in today's day and age, the marker of a "serious" relationship is whether it has become sexual. so at the end, for him, it was more worth it to kind of "give in" and to be open to (and it seemed almost that he was actually seeking more than just considering) a relationship with a sexual person, and to make that compromise even though he was kind of uncomfortable with it, just for the sake of being able to really be bonded to another person. and i was thinking man. that's a really raw deal for some asexual people (i mean you have to assume that if asexuals comprise 1% of the american population, a fair few of them faced this very dilemma). and then, i really started to appreciate and understand them as kindred people in the struggle. because that same situation is how it is for a person who doesn't want kids in a relationship with someone who does. and i'm not talking like on the fence, "presently child-less" people. i'm talking people like me, for whom this is one of the deep-seated pillars of their being. people like me, who know that to conform to this societal expectation means sure misery and a betrayal of self, and to not do so means ... foreveralone. that's what everyone says, right? "who'll take care of you when you're older if you don't have kids?" but those poor asexual people have the same problem as we do. you have to have sex to make kids, right? but you're not even interested in dating? not even in being in a relationship with someone? well then! now you're just weird. AND you're going to die alone! so, in conclusion, i really empathize. the solution to all of this would be for everyone to learn to mind their own fucking business and let people live how they want to instead of making completely false, inflammatory, emotionally charged and/or shaming statements about the direction other people's lives are going, but we all know that'll never happen. * of course most statements are sweeping generalizations. of course i know that not every asexual person faces these issues, and some pursue romantic relationships while others don't, and blah blah. why the fuck am i putting a disclaimer in my own fucking diary? |