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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
update on current events.
2013-07-29 @ 10:40 a.m.
okay, first things first. i walk in and get in line for ice cream at a chain establishment. you are a few people in front of me, and move over to the side as i approach the counter. you're totally checking out my tattoos, and you're really excited about them. so much so that you grab your girlfriend and try to get her to notice them, and then take out your camera, try to pretend you're showing her something on your phone, and take a picture of me without my permission. you're so excited that you somehow don't notice that i totally notice you doing all of this stuff. i don't say anything to you because it's pretty crowded, my boyfriend is extra crabby, our child is super annoying right now, and you look like you're only about 15, so you probably don't realize how inappropriate what you just did was. but in the future, if you just ask a person if you can take a picture of them to show their friend, chances are they'll be at least a tiny bit flattered and say yes, instead of being left feeling kind of violated. just an fyi. okay, so. here's the deal with psycho. (miss Aryssa90: i never got the email notification of your comment or i would have ended up writing this sooner!) last time i wrote, psycho was being extra weird and spaced out, but was still at home (she lives with her parents). now, no one really knows what is wrong with her. when this all began last year, i don't remember her parents ever telling us what her actual diagnosis was, because i don't know if they were told. it's hard hearing something like 2-3 times removed from the source. you know how that telephone game is. when she first got out of the hospital last year, i remember boy talking to her at length about how she really needed to get a fucking grip, and she told him at the time that they didn't know if it was depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, paranoid schizophrenia, or what. she has symptoms of everything. after that, boy either never told me or never found out what it was for sure, but she was definitely put on anxiety meds. that is what she stopped taking, which precipitated this event. so anyway. it was last sunday that she was being all weird and crazy on the phone. her parents needed a break from her and told her that if she was going to stop taking her medication and taking care of herself, then she couldn't live with them. (a little more backstory [i'm sorry, there's just so much]: remember she has cancer? she's been refusing to go begin her treatments because she thinks that her parents and the doctors are in some kind of conspiracy together to do something to her ...?) so her brother said she could stay over there for a week or so just to chill out. he takes her to the park, and they go out to the lake, and she just starts randomly babbling crazytalk and throws all of her shit around, and runs into the water, fully clothed. he immediately called his parents and was like, NOPE. so they brought her home and told her that she needed to admit herself, or they would admit her involuntarily. she refused, she's admitted. it is now tuesday morning. so like, little A is hearing nothing of this except that his mom stopped taking her medication and was in the hospital. he doesn't really get anything that's going on. i think i mentioned at length at one point how annoying it is that he always says he understands things even when he doesn't, which makes it nearly impossible to figure out when it really matters. but anyway. so he and i are just here during the week, doing our thing. he's on xbox live playing minecraft all day with his cousin. there's not much to say about what's going on with his mother because we don't know, and she has no cell phone to call anyone (there were only payphones, and if you miss the call, you're beat), and she refused to speak to her parents, and she was allowed to, because she's a grown up. during this period, boy managed to catch only one of her calls in which she explained that nothing was wrong with her, she had no idea why she was in there, and that this was all happening because the doctors and her parents are in cahoots. oh, and god is smiting her. she thought she was in there because she got lost driving with little A. she's like, i'm sorry i don't know about cars! boy was trying to explain to her that that had nothing to do with it. it was the fact that she was driving around, with no idea where she was or where she was going or how she got there. that she can't adequately care for herself OR a child. that she thinks the doctors and the government are out to get her. he's saying, "don't you understand? don't you understand?" in the same voice he uses to speak to little A. just ... sigh. so wednesday evening i think, we're in the kitchen making dinner, and little A comes upstairs and is talking about something and says, "yeah, my mom said [blah blah]." and both our heads whip around, and we're like ... what? when did you talk to your mom?? and he says, oh yeah, i talked to her on xbox live. apparently his uncle (the one she was with for the lake incident) was on xbox live as well, and when she called his house he put the phone up to his headset so little A could talk to her. um, that's cool? like boy and i were both thinking, wow, you know, you might have possibly asked his father if he felt that that was a good idea. obviously we didn't think he should be talking to her at all!* thursday (and friday, i think) passed with no incident except her parents texted boy and said that she was going to be out soon, because now that she was stabilized and re-medicated there was nothing they could keep her for. so, great. saturday, we got up, boy made this huge frittata, then ate it and fell asleep for literally the entire day. at around like 3pm? maybe 4, psycho starts calling the house phone. i try to wake boy up but he talks in his sleep, so i tell him what's going on and he says it's fine. so i'm like ... okay? so he continues on sleeping until like 7:30pm, at which point she's called at least 10 times, and little A has answered the phone. we go out to dinner and come back, and i think it's weird that little A never mentions that he's talked to her or that she's out. so this sunday, yesterday, we thought my dad was coming over but he never did. so we're just kind of dicking around. boy went out on his own for a ride, just for an hour or two. he comes back and we're all foraging in the kitchen for lunch, and crazy starts calling again. (the problem here being that i told boy late late the night before that she had been calling all day while he was asleep, and he was like shit. well, he can't talk to her anymore unless i'm supervising. she calls the house phone, though, and he didn't want to disconnect the entire phone, so he said he'd just pay more attention.) so he's like, little A. your mom is out? why is she calling so much? is she okay? and little A gets super weird and uncomfortable, shifting around like crazy. we all know when the kid is lying by now. he does it so much that it's immediately apparent. so boy is like, dude. you need to tell me what your mom is saying. and little A is like, well ... she says she misses me and wants to know when i can come over. and boy is like, not until she gets better. when your grandparents say she's better, then you can go over. and little A says, well my mom says she can't breathe when she's not allowed to see me, and that's why she's so sick. and then boy was just like, oh man. this is the situation we're dealing with. so he started asking little A if he REALLY understood why his mom was in there, and he still didn't really. (between this incident and the one last year, boy has talked to him and explained this to him at length, many many times, and asked him if he really understood many, many times, but again, he's either just playing dumb or truly has no comprehension/retention abilities). after this conversation, we really did unplug the phone lines. she called like 20 times last night, both to the house phone and boy's cell. he's really frustrating and always makes it worse because he doesn't just deal with it right away. he's like, oh i don't want to deal with her right now. i'll talk to her later. i'll talk to her parents later. that's cool and everything, but he never just says, "i'll talk to you later," he just ignores her, which makes her more and more frantic and insane. by the time he finally does decide he's ready to address the issue, 3-4 days later sometimes, she's totally freaking out. i know that he feels that the ball is in his court now and that she doesn't deserve to be dignified with a response, and i totally agree with all of that on an emotional and intellectual level. however, on a realistic and practical level, it's really unnecessary and counterproductive. what could have been accomplished in a 30-second text is now going to grow and grow over days into a huge, all-night long text/phonecall psycho freakout. it's so annoying, because boy is one of those people who can't see past the present moment. is the feeling of power you have for a couple of hours while you're ignoring her calls really worth the entire day, sometimes several days of ridiculous behavior that is to come? sigh again. so, that's all that's going on with that. i have a TON of stuff to do so anything else i've got will have to wait. miss tia, thank you very kindly for your note. it meant a lot to me. there's a lot i want to say about that, and had intended to address in that entry, but i couldn't really gather my thoughts at the time. don't worry, it is forthcoming. * yes, his phone was taken away immediately. boy has been saying that he's putting parental control software on it but he has just had it hidden in our bedroom. at first, he really was going to put parental control stuff on it, but when psycho started bugging out, he realized he didn't want her to have full unfiltered access to little A all the time, so hidden it shall remain until we figure out exactly what's going on with all this mess. |