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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
tough issues.
2015-06-10 @ 6:23 p.m.
so satan sent boy this huge long text today, and the extremely abridged version is that since she lives 15 minutes away now and boy is working all the time and little A is best friends with scummy girlfriend's middle child, she thinks it would be best if we just let him move back in with her, because he's lonely and has no friends at this school and is sad because dad is never home. and like, here's the rub. you can call me an asshole all you want, but i'm nothing if not honest, okay? i've said before, i fucking hate parenting, i hate children. with little A's behavior, and how frustrating and shitty in every single way that he has made my life since he has lived here ... he's not a person i enjoy spending time with. at all. and some people will read this and think, oh she's such a horrible person, how could anyone say stuff like this. but the fact of the matter is, i don't treat him like shit. i don't condescend to him. we spend a lot of time together, and some of it is fun. but like, if i have to pick between hanging out with him or alone by myself? 100% of the time i will choose to chill solo. it's nothing against him, i know he just is how he is. and i think, maybe you really only can get it if you were ever a teacher or a caregiver or something like that. because there's always that student you hate, that patient you hate, whatever. but you care about them. deeply. just because you don't like a person doesn't mean that you think they should die, or that you necessarily are mean to them, or whatever stupid conclusions one might come to. it's just a matter of hey. that person is not the one for me, but i wish them well. so, ALL that said, i would STILL rather him stay living here with us. there is a reason we call her satan! but i said to boy, i know it's really hard for him because yeah, of course you want your kid to be happy. but not at the expense of literally everything else in his life. it's like, little A can either have what would make him emotionally happy, or what's right for his development as a human, and for his future. boy is in a terrible position because we all know that if (well really, when) he says no, satan is going to blame it all on him, tell little A that he's the worst and he doesn't care about him, see, i always told you your dad was a bad guy, blah blah etc. but if he does this, little A will be full time in this disgusting house where no one pays any attention to his health or hygiene, no one disciplines him, one kid was already removed by DYFS, and so on. i can't help but chuckle to myself at the shits people take on people like myself who openly admit that they just don't enjoy kids and don't want any, when there are people out there like satan and scummy girlfriend who have kids but no maturity or capability of taking care of them properly, who actively try to alienate their child from his or her other parent purely for their own self-interests, and who care nothing for trying to help their child become better than they are. i wish that was a minority who got heckled a little more. but i digress. so yeah, boy is like, wow this sucks for me. he wanted to ignore the text and just pretend like he never got it, but i really think that he needs to honestly reply to her and be like listen. you're a fucking terrible parent. there is no way that i will ever do that, so don't ask again. i mean, obviously in some more words than that, and with much more tact. but you get the gist. and like i don't know, maybe this is inappropriate, but i think he should seriously sit down with little A too, and say listen man. we have discussed this many times, you have said it yourself. your mom doesn't act like a parent, she acts like your friend. and i would not let you move in with one of your friends to raise you. like, sorry, that's it. school and your life and potential opportunities are so, so much more important than switching schools so you can be with your friend and living with your mom because you don't like rules. so i don't know what he's going to say or do, and i told him i can't say anything to him about it. all i said was, you know what will happen if he grows up there. we both know. as much as i would love to have my house and my life back, i know it's wrong. it's SO the wrong thing to do. we have been talking constantly about how we need to limit little A's time with satan. this summer, we were going to send him away to grandma's for the ENTIRE summer, then i felt that he should take a season off of sports because he can't manage both at the same time right now, but also because satan never gets him home on time so he's constantly exhausted and unable to pay attention in school (totally helpful when you have adhd, right?). once he establishes that he can be a human on his own and do what he needs to do reliably, then maybe he can start hanging out with her more often. sigh, i don't know. whatever. it's not mine to worry about. on a lighter note, mr. able and i were talking about food like crazy yesterday, and i was going on and on about this one thing at a nearby deli that i was very surprised he had never been to. a couple hours after i got home, he texts me "my phone works now!" and a photo of this huge platter of my favorite deli item. he was so excited. it was so cute. this guy is so awesome. |