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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
goodbye, so soon.
2016-03-29 @ 10:32 p.m.
hi, i'm alive, i hope no one was worried. a lot of things have happened, a lot of things have changed. i'm a lot happier now, and in a better place mentally, i think. but i'm in a weird spot where i don't know if that's true or if i'm just trying to convince myself of it. haha. why am i so difficult? i say that a lot to my therapist (an adorable englishman) who always responds, "no no, these are good questions." but what is the answer, sir? yeah, i finally started doing that by the way. on new year's eve i checked myself into crisis because i was having a nervous breakdown and it was literally do or die that day. so it's cool that i'm still here, i guess. taking some medicine, taking it day by day. there's just so much to summarize and i'm like ugh about it all, really. boy moved out but we're still kind of together? little A went with him, obviously. sooooo happy about that. i honestly underestimated how shitty he and his mother (and boy, a little bit by extension) were making my life. best friend moved in with her kiddo. remember she just got married over the summer but is now maybe getting divorced but they're trying to work it out? but she's meanwhile having this shady almost relationship with a coworker. i got a second job with mr. able's best friend of many years and absolutely love it, but it still pays crap. had to put oldcat to sleep. honestly that has been the thing i've been most upset about. i wish there was something i could have done, but she was so old. she outlived normal cats by more than 10 years. i know it was the right thing to do, but man. it still doesn't feel right. so anyway, that's all for me, i just wanted to say hi and bye and i'm okay. my therapist also said that i should be like, keeping track of my feelings and sharing my emotions and talking to people about my problems and shit like that so i will try to write more often. but i always say that, don't i? |