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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
mostly about work.
2016-09-02 @ 12:54 a.m.
work is great. ER is kind of on the rocks, off the rocks but i made him a fucking incredible resume a week or so ago so he should have no problems incase shit goes south. he had an interview early this week and texted me about it the night before, telling me to cross my fingers, and i texted him back "good luck but i will be :( if you get it!" boss is really trying not to fire him by giving him all of these other responsibilities which i think is a good thing because one of his major problems was that he was feeling really useless. like if business was really slow, he literally had nothing to do all day except look out the window and hope for customers and watch youtube videos. but now he's running around all day, and i have been trained on a few new things which i have trained him on (and made handy step-by-step printouts for my eventual replacement), so it's been good. one of my coworkers, AL, has decided that he's in love with me now, which is cute and everything but kind of sad. like every one of these guys is married, has a great-looking wife (they're all in their late 40s and early 50s and i think, wives just a few years younger than them for the most part), and makes a decent living but they're all sexually frustrated and miserable. of course they don't say it outright like that, but over time and in passing conversations i've come to realize it. boss was telling me about the cultural differences between the people in his country one day and said offhand that his wife belonged to the group that was "frigid and conservative, and she really is a frigid bitch." his wife comes in occasionally to bring him snacks and to visit with him and it's like they're struggling to have a conversation with each other. he was talking on the phone to one of his kids the other day and was like "i don't know where your mother is and i don't give a shit! i can't fucking stand her!" i'm like ooooooookay. this is healthy. he gets massages all the time at the asian place down the road, and when i said something about massages to ER recently he's like "yeah, boss knows a GOOD place for that!" and laughed and gave me eyebrows. haha ... oh. i couldn't even believe ER's wife was really his wife, she looks way out of his league. they get along and talk every day and love each other but sex is rare. it's been an ongoing joke that when he comes to work in a good mood that he finally got laid. AL has been complaining for about 6 weeks now that he hasn't been sleeping well/at all, and he thinks it's because things are not well with "man and wife," as he says it. his english is really poor but he does a lot of hand motions to clarify, and the hand motion that went along with "man and wife" made it pretty clear that he was talking about sex. everyone knows that JC cheats on his wife regularly and just before i started working here, left home and moved in with a stripper for two weeks. and finally poor alcoholic BJ, who i can't help but wonder if the alcohol came before or after his wife leaving. she moved to a town about an hour away, leaving him here to live with his mother. she will not come to see him, and his license is suspended due to DUIs, so he can't go to see her. it's been probably a month now that AL's been all middle school boy with me, and he said the other day that he likes that i have a good sense of humor about it and i like to laugh with him because he goes home and is not happy, and then on top of that he can't sleep. and i'm like aww man :( it's funny that i'm such a mess of a person, but for so many of the people i work with, i can cheer up their day. earlier in the week i was complaining that i was in a shitty mood and didn't really feel good (that uterus shit), and while ER and i were on our way to whatever errand we were doing, he suddenly pulls over at rita's. i'm like yooooo what's up with this!? and he's like i hate it when you're in a bad mood! i placed my order and tried to pay and he literally slapped my hand out of the way and paid for it. he's so awesome. sometimes i'll be thinking really hard about something and making some hard ass face and he's like "why you looking so serious? i hate that face!" and of course i laugh and that makes him laugh. i like our relationship. today was such a chill day. boss was out literally all day, i think he was actually on the premises for an hour or so. it was absolutely gorgeous outside, only about 80 with no humidity and a wonderful breeze, so we sat in ER's office and chatted with the door open, we all ate lunch together except for AL who didn't think he could fit at the desk with 3 other people, so he came over when he was done and had a slap fight with boss's dad. i fooled around on the computer for a while then stood around outside and chatted some more, completed a few sales, and then chilled in ER's office some more while a customer had an incredibly frustrating phone conversation with a company who told us at the END of this conversation that had gone on in excess of an hour that he couldn't even use their service until the next day. he's like wtf! god it took forever, all for nothing. anyway, it's funny how life has taken such a 180 for me. work used to be the primary source of my misery, but now it's the calm in the storm of my shitty life. i guess that's what it is for all of us there, in a way. oh, how things change. i get to see boy tomorrow, finally. he worked all last weekend so there was kind of no point to me going up there. i like my alone time so when it comes up, i take it. why is my cat reaching his hand into his dish and taking out pieces of food one by one, dropping them on the floor in front of his dish, and THEN eating them? why is he so fucking weird. i started writing this thing the other day about how fat i've gotten (i've gained so much weight back for no reason), but i was just being super negative and my thoughts were really disorganized so i gave up on it. i did get really fat but surprisingly i'm still feeling really confident. i guess it's a combination of boy and i doing so well, and getting hit on constantly at work. i have started realizing that my perception of myself is probably not as accurate as i think it is. it is a crisp, cool evening and i have all of the windows open and my little furry buddy is sleeping next to me. it's almost chilly in here. i can hear crickets and smell the smoke of someone's fireplace in the distance. this kind of evening makes me happy. he just stretched out and rested his head on my mouse, which selected and deleted everything i wrote. luckily i yanked the cord out and pressed undo before he could do any more damage. entry salvaged. i think it's time to call it a night. |