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�what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux

"i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes

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sing a yellow nectarine.

2017-05-31 @ 10:14 p.m.

boss and i were picking up some stock today and i was lucky enough to find a CD that someone had left behind. i ejected it from the CD player and immediately saw the disc art and recognized it as stone temple pilots purple album. i doubted myself for a second, because i haven't seen or touched that CD for at least like ... 14-15 years probably. i don't even know if i own it anymore. but just to confirm, i pressed play and sure enough, it was that album.

so of course i start playing it for the drive back, and it's so amazing to me that i still remembered almost all of the words to all of the songs after all of these years. i am not exaggerating that i have not listened to this album at all for at 14-15 years. like who hasn't heard "interstate love song" or whatever on the radio. i don't mean songs like that. i mean the other ones that never had airtime. "still remains" came on and in the first two seconds i just felt joyous chills spread over my body. and then i just started singing it effortlessly.

i don't understand why i can remember this song i haven't heard in ages perfectly but my working and short term memory is SO poor. i have an appointment with a new therapist tomorrow so i'm definitely going to mention it. but it was a really frustrating realization for me. boss tells me shit and literally 10 seconds later, it's gone. ugh. why?

anyway. so. to not end on a negative note, i want to say that i am super happy to have heard this album again because it reminded me how wonderful that song is.

the host of this episode of 20/20 is wearing a dress with a flower print that is the same as a cheap painting i have in my house. i wonder which came first: the dress or the painting?