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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
crossing the river.
2010-05-04 @ 9:08 p.m.
something tells me i can trust in you i've listened to this song probably 100 times, and i've never really listened to it until now. i don't think i ever realized what it was saying until i met him again. now that i know, now that i've really heard it, it helps me understand. our whole love is a leap of faith for both of us. i am the only one who has truly held his heart. he doesn't give it freely; he never has. i used to ... i used to give mine to anyone who asked, and i found myself hurting more than i ever thought possible. i found myself changed, and hard, and cold, and remote ... that's what the last one said to me. we had been together for 3.5 years, planned to get married and be together forever, and he says: you're cold. i don't feel anything from you anymore ... and every line of this song is so accurate. there is so much water under the bridge for us. so much happened back then. he is the light, and he shines on my frozen heart. i work so hard to keep myself guarded but open at the same time, and with this man, i think i'm ready to take the leap. i know there's no turning back, and i'm willing to reach out to him and cross the river. because i want to get to him. and stay there. today on the phone he said something about how he wasn't letting me go anywhere, and i told him he could keep me. he said, "i don't know if you realized the huge double entendre there," and i said, "i did, and i replied appropriately." he doesn't need to worry. i will let go of my fear and pride for you, my dear. just catch me when i leap, and don't let go. |