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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
hormones, or stupid?
2010-09-09 @ 9:32 p.m.
it's probably my hormones, because i think my period is coming this week (i don't get it anymore because of the IUD), but i got off the phone with him about 10 minutes ago and have been crying ever since. i just miss him so much. there was no transition to him leaving, he just went one day and didn't come back. now are we back to only seeing each other once every other weekend, like it was before? what do i do with all of this unstructured time? we had a routine. i was so happy. i got to cook daily, which is one of my true loves in life. i'm not going to make dinner every night just for myself. i don't have anyone to put to bed at night, or to kiss every morning. i never thought i was going to be this stupid weepy girl, but i also never thought that i would reunite with the one true, genuine physical and emotional connection i've ever had in my life, more perfect than i could have ever imagined, then have to let him go after so briefly tasting the sweetness of our life together. i don't know what to do with myself. hopefully this will pass and i will be able to tolerate it tomorrow. i want to talk to him and see if i can stay with him up there a couple days a week when he's not down here. if i don't do that, then i need to get a job somewhere because i can't stand this. i made a really good housewife, but now i have no one to tend to. i feel so stupid and depressed, but our souls are connected. my other half is missing. |