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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
redundant.
2011-09-20 @ 9:50 a.m.
what to say. what to do. apparently some people in the neighborhood either forgot or don't give a shit that they live in very tight proximity to like at least 100 other people. the new thing is leaving their annoying yappy ass motherfucking dog outside in the mornings, presumably while they enjoy their coffee or shower in peace. so it seems now that i will wake up every morning at 7:00am unless i want to keep all of the windows closed and turn the air back on. it's this kind of inconsiderate shit that makes me regret choosing a townhouse, but i won't be here for long. yes. boy said it the other day. officially official. we're together forever. we were discussing what will happen with his tax return money this year, and we were also discussing how we needed to be gaming more often (we have both a wii and a 360 which are rarely touched these days). the gaming discussion was first, actually. we were discussing how much nicer the 360 looks on my upstairs hdtv than the old tube tv in the basement. i was ridiculously surprised to hear him say that if he wins this union raffle this year he hopes for the 42" tv, so he can put it in the basement to game on. i kept mute about it, because i thought it was weird that he would want to do that since he had also been talking about moving back up north in the new year. so then yesterday we were talking again about things, christmas this time, i think. i suggested we should forego presents for each other in favor of going in on a new tv, but then i realized how much i love presents so i said i should have never brought it up. he said we don't necessarily have to do it for christmas, we could always do it earlier or later, and i suggested that i would contribute some of my post christmas cash and a gift card to the common good. that's when he said, speaking of money, and brought up his tax return, saying, "you and i are going to be together for a while. so i decided it would be stupid to get a place up there and waste the money." after that, it moved on to how he's getting a motorcycle with the money, but whatever. we'll deal with that when it comes. so now i'm so happy. all a girl ever wants is to know for sure. so now i feel that i can begin planning my life and making decisions. really though, i am so in love with that boy. there are so many times that he aggravates the shit out of me, but at the end of the day, feeling him next to me in bed, kissing that sweet face, and giggling at the stupid things he says makes me happier than anything else. yesterday when we were discussing the motorcycle, and how i hope he doesn't kill himself on it, i really wanted to say, "i don't want to spend another moment of my life without you," but i don't really think i needed to. he knows. i was thinking about this the other day, and it's funny that i just happened to see someone post (essentially) the same question: how do you define chemistry? how do you know it's there? what is it? is it instant or does it develop? i wonder that all the time when i think about boy. when we met in high school, it was instant. there was just something about him that i liked. i don't know how else to say it or explain it. it was just in the air. and now, exactly 10 years later, i feel the same exact way about him. i never get tired of him. we never get tired of each other. i'm cute as hell, but not gorgeous by any means. i'm still fat. i'm super weird. like not even by conventional definitions of weird. i'm pretty sure i'm on a whole new level. and this boy comes over one day two years ago, meets me again, and instantly we're back to what we so desperately wanted to start back then. but this time we did it all the right way. i've been working on this entry all day. i keep getting distracted. but this is the only place where i can continue to marvel at how things worked out. life can be so good. |