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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
in a weird mood.
2011-09-27 @ 12:53 p.m.
some days are really hard to get through and i don't know why. today is one of them. today, finally the sun is out after days of being in. i'm cleaning some things, trying to keep myself busy. money is super tight right now and we're both worried about it, but we're helping each other. we should be okay. i'm still feeling depressed, though, and i can't shake it. i've been looking into making dietary changes to see if that would help me at all ... i've read so much about carbs, and it appears that they can either contribute to causing depression or alleviating it, but since it's so varied from person to person the only option is self-experimentation. i just have to find the motivation to do it. i was looking around the basement earlier, while i was vacuuming it, and it's so weird seeing all of these things down there that don't belong to me. you know how when you move into a new place, or go somewhere you haven't been, and there's that strange sense of disorientation, where your brain is trying to get its bearings, to find a constant point. i'm looking around my house, seeing the baseboards, the paint on the walls, the carpet i chose. i remember putting this here or that there because it seemed like a good spot, and maybe even moving it once or twice. i know every inch of my house. and then suddenly there are clothes hampers with someone else's clothes. toys. i'm removing mail from my mailbox and there's someone else's name on it. it just strikes me as so alien sometimes, even though it's so familiar. |