perfect moments in life, for me, are the other night, in bed, in the dark, hearing, "i love the way our bodies fit together," and another, walking briskly through the cold, looking over and smiling, and hearing, "i really like your face."

that's really all, i've been reading up so much and working on my business plan and cleaning the house that i don't have much else to say. there are 1000 things i need to do, and they're just like swimming around in my head wildly like too many guppies in a pool. i have no idea where to start, and have SO many things on the list that i haven't even attempted to make the list yet. i just work on the biggest most OBVIOUS things in a few chunks, and then when i have a little weird slice of time here or here, i work on a smaller, more manageable thing. it's probably not the best way to organize, and i definitely am the first to admit that organization is absolutely not my strong suit, but i'm getting some things done, so i guess it'll do for now.

okay. i have to watch the little person tomorrow, and i don't know what to do. i hate to ignore him all day, because it sucks when boy has to work, but i have so much stuff i have to do. hopefully he'll just want to sit around and watch harry potter like last time so i can stay on the computer and get some coding done.

and man. i know i say it too damn much but i have such a great boyfriend. he's such a nice guy. i love our easy relationship. they always say that love is work, and that's true, but just the same way that you discover what work can be like when you absolutely enjoy every second of it, i think love is the same. i know every relationship is unique, and seeing the differing dynamics in each always interests me, but i would never give ours up for anything. ours is not tumultuous, it is the lazy river. ours is not the stormy june midnight, but the calm, warm, end of summer sunset. it's a really nice thing.

2012-12-17: heavy.
2012-12-15: undertow.
2012-12-14: nothing new.
2012-12-11: so, how was it?
2012-12-06: sex and physical therapy don't mix.



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i am a horrible person. i'm insecure. i'm crass, i'm cruel. i love but i am heartless. i write these things so i never forget who i am. in here, i withhold nothing. i live my life with no filter. this is the ugly, honest, hurtful, barebones, truth. i am not right. i am contagious.

i am trying my hardest to be a better person.