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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
focus.
2012-07-27 @ 10:41 a.m.
what the fuck. someone was blowing up boy's phone last night when he fell asleep at 8 again, so i let it go for 4 calls, assuming it was psycho, but when they called back 4 more times i woke him fully and told him to answer it. my concern was that something happened to little A (last time she was calling him like this he was at her house and fallen and had to get stitches in his head). so he answers, and she's just flipping shit because the sheriff FINALLY served her with the divorce papers. (the date he filed? march 26.) i was sitting here, trying to think of a concise way to explain the argument, but the simplest thing to say is that 1) she is not smart, she is uneducated, and therefore did not understand what the papers were saying, and 2) she admitted that this is all because she is jealous and does not want to let him go. so for her own selfishness, she will ruin her kid's life. she admitted this too, when boy asked her if she knew what was right for little A, what was in his best interest. he said, if you can honestly and truly say that in your heart, you know that it is better for little A to live with you, then he can live there. and she said, i know it's not better for him, but i'm lonely. this, from the same woman who (just two weeks ago this happened!!), after having little A for a week by her own request, called to tell him that she needed a break and that it's not fair that she has to take care of him all the time if HE has custody. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU CRAZY BITCH. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS! YOU EITHER WANT HIM OR YOU DON'T!!!! it's clear that she only wants to be fucking contrary. it's not about ANYTHING except jealousy and spite and winning. so boy just said whatever. he's so upset but he's also so spent. we agreed to just stop worrying about it and thinking about it and freaking out about the future because she freaks out about things one day and then completely changes gears the next, pretty much all the time. so he'll just wait and see. we went to bed afterward, because it was late at that point. and he says here, get naked, take my mind off of things. so we do, and it's the usual kind of mess. but tonight, i was like leaning back, and he's smoking and watching me, and i squirted like crazy, and he's like oh my god! you're doing it again!! and of course i was so excited. so afterward, i'm laying there like a dead body, twitching and spasming, and he tells me first that i am "amazing" and so is our sex life (thanks ♥! who doesn't want to hear this?), but also that yes, i really squirted it, pretty far. because this time, i did it multiple times. and that we really should make a video of it so i can see it, because it's pretty awesome, and it's the hottest thing he's ever seen. i would say i hate to write about this every time that i write, but i really don't, because it's so amazing. it's like, before i discovered i could do this, i loved sex, but now that i know that it's REAL? and that i can do it? almost whenever i want to!?? i really LOVE sex! i said to boy last night that for the longest time, i was sure that it wasn't real. he and i even bought an instructional video a couple of years ago, watched it and tried, but it still didn't happen despite earnest efforts, and i became even more steadfast in my disbelief. but it's oh so real, and SO good. i'll be perfectly honest: it has greatly improved my quality of life. for fucking reals. boy will be home soon. we're going to lowe's to get some soil and stuff to plant my herb garden, finally. i'm super excited! we'll save SO much money on fresh herbs, it will be ridiculous. and the wonderful scent as you approach the front door? ahh. focus on the good stuff. the other stuff will fall into place. |