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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
quick list.
2012-07-31 @ 10:49 a.m.
i really don't have any time to spend on this, but i really need to write about it, so we'll see how it turns out. 1. i started playing maple story again. i can't tell you anything else about it even though i desperately want to, because i'm very easily recognizable in and out of game. what i can vaguely say is that i have a couple of ridiculously high leveled characters, which will indicate to you (if you are familiar with this game, or this type at least) that i have spent an alarming amount of time and money on them over the years. last night, when i told my brother i was starting up again, he was like, oh no. [boy], you better watch her. she can get crazy with that. and he's right. i really really can, but i'm not going to. i am stating right now that i am not going to become an addict again. but i will reach my goals. 2. boy and i decided we're going to swing. we've talked about it for a long time, but i don't think we were emotionally or sexually ready in our personal relationship until very recently. i don't know if i have ever written about this explicitly, but boy is definitely bisexual, and i know i would be if i met the right girl. we're both 100% satisfied with each other, but there are just some things that a woman can't do (if only i had a penis!). i told him when we first got together that i had no problem with him fucking around with guys if he wanted to, he just needs to keep me informed every step of the way so i don't feel as though he's sneaking around, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, he has to maintain the utmost standard of safety (in every aspect). so anyway, we've talked about this SO many times, but he said he never really thought i was serious. this transitioned to 3. him repeating that he really is okay with me escorting, if i wanted to do it. i've been thinking about it a lot lately, which i haven't written about either, because i thought it was a passing crazy idea. but it's not passing, because it keeps coming up in my mind, in our conversations. boy is keeping us afloat with his work and overtime, but we're not making enough money to be happy. so if i can find a few reliable, consistent clients, i can continue working from home 100% of the time, build the business, and get us closer to where we want to be, then focus on the the business full time. i was kind of eh about the whole thing, not because i have a problem with it per se, but because i was worried that he would have a problem with it. he always sounded on the fence about it until yesterday, when he said, why not get paid to do something you already do for free? (this statement was prompted by my telling him that i've been seeing this guy posting over and over on CL that he wants to watch a girl poop for money. i said it was super weird, and boy was like, why? what do you usually get paid when you poop? and this way, everyone will benefit! hm. good point.) but anyway. i love money, i love sex, and i looooove looking sexy. this will afford me the lifestyle i want in every way. more time. more money. more sex. as long as it's safe, it pretty much sounds like the perfect part-time job. (my first choice is this foot fetish guy who posts as often as the poop guy. he just wants to massage and pamper cute feet, dress those feet in shoes and other nice stuff, and maybe receive a footjob [i am making this assumption]. sounds great. i need new shoes anyway.) 4. psycho definitely kidnapped little A, and is now outright refusing to bring him back or let boy come pick him up. boy isn't going to fight her. he doesn't have it in him. and i know he didn't want to admit it, but he did: having him here is a lot of work that is not fun, at all. we don't have a lifestyle that is "kid friendly," if you know what i mean, and (i know it is through no fault of his own) little A is so immature and helpless that it is very difficult to deal with him. there are a lot of basic skills that you expect a 9 year old to have, which unfortunately he just doesn't because of his failure of a mother. so even though this isn't for the best, each side has its benefits and drawbacks. 5. somehow we smoked an entire ounce in like, a week and a half. not even a half, a week and a couple days. boy was like omg! someone robbed us! someone else did this! so i started paying attention to our consumption the past couple days, and last night i figured it out. we've been having these frequent, lengthy sex marathons, and we always smoke before and during during sex. so that'll do it. 2-3 hours smoking nonstop, 4-5 days a week? that burns it up really quick! x. we were fooling around in bed the other night and we had to turn away from aladdin because we both know all of the words to every song, and most of the movie by heart, and it was too distracting. hah. i was interrupted so many times while writing this that i have no idea what's even going on. is this even what i wanted to talk about in the first place? who knows. i'm going to look up CL foot fetish guy. |