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�what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux

"i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes

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we learned that we can see them coming a mile away.

2012-09-28 @ 1:37 p.m.

so, best friend came over yesterday. she texted me and asked if she could "come over please" and i knew that meant something was wrong. usually she just invites herself over.

she came in and told me it was that guy. he was cheating on her, again, with multiple other girls. and he had been since day one, again.

i wrote this long ass thing about this yesterday but my computer shut off overnight and it got deleted. i was kind of frustrated about it this morning but now that i'm thinking about it again, i'm not really. i was kind of rehashing what all happened, and you know, there are like a lot of side plots and stuff, and the more i wrote and thought about it and explained it, the more depressed it was making me.

all there is to say about it is this: i know best friend is a horrible person sometimes, and she makes a lot of really really REALLY bad decisions. but no one deserves to be treated the way this guy treated her. the elaborate web of deceit this guy wove is frightening, and indicative of severe mental problems. and i just feel so bad for her. my heart is really breaking for her.

it was one of those times where anyone hearing it would have been wanting to scream out, "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!" especially after everything. but hearing it was like watching a cat playing with a dying bird. it was so sad. she said they were looking at houses together. sigh.

i know she fell really hard and really fast but that's what a good con man does. she was too easy a mark, and he got her good. my heart, my heart.

i really wanted to believe that this guy had changed and that he wasn't going to do it to her. as much as i did tell her so, every day that i saw her post on facebook or whatever about what they were doing, i felt so relieved that it wasn't a post about how he had fucked her again. i really wanted to believe that this guy wasn't this kind of guy.

i hope that she breezes through this. i hope that therapy helps her through this. she said she was waiting in court with her kid's dad yesterday while her "boyfriend"'s girlfriend was telling her in one ear that she just found out she was pregnant, and in the other ear her kid's dad is saying he wishes he had worn a condom and that their son was the ruin of his life.