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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
secret revealed!
2014-09-18 @ 8:53 a.m.
i still don't have time to write about what i was going to the other day (the list of things), but they're still in mind. today i am writing about this secret thing that boy had mentioned a while ago (i know i wrote about it several other times but i don't feel like scanning all of my posts since january for them), but seemed to disappear. i got all pumped up, thinking it was a ring, but then pretty much every major holiday passed and it was never mentioned again so i figured he just wasn't ready yet, or still couldn't find what he was looking for. so spoiler alert: i was right! that was definitely the surprise. yesterday, we were talking about my brother and gf getting married, and how everyone thinks they're far too hasty, and i said that brother has been ready to get married to two different people in the time we've been together, and we're still not even engaged yet. and boy is like well that's not by choice, and then spontaneously went into this long rant about how he's been wanting to do it forever, but when my mom pulled him aside at christmas and told him something, it messed up his entire plan. i had always been wondering, what the hell could she have said or done that was making this so complicated? my suspicion had always been big surprise: ring, mom involvement: trying to give him her ring? but i had dropped so many hints that i didn't like her ring, especially after i tried it on over the summer. nothing else made sense to me as to what it could be, so i just assumed that there was some large sum of money involved that he couldn't afford, or that he just wanted to be uncommitted for a little longer or something. (this was all supposed to be a surprise to me, by the way, if you're coming in late. so boy and i have never discussed any of this except that i posted what i was into on pintrst.) so anyway, as boy is going on and on, breathlessly explaining why this hasn't happened yet without giving away the "surprise," he's like AHH i am soo relieved that i can kind of talk to you about this right now. it's been really hard to try to do this, and get you something that you're going to wear for the rest of your life, with 0% of your input, especially now with this monkey wrench that your mom threw in. so i'm like WHAT is the monkey wrench!? oh my goodness! and we went back and forth about whether i was SURE i wanted him to spoil the secret, because i LOVE being surprised, but it's something so serious and so expensive that i finally decided that this is not the kind of thing that either of us wanted to gamble on. when i made my decision, he's like, WHEEEEEEEEWWWW! so relieved, because he was so torn. the SURPRISE was that my mom had been holding my grandmother's ring for me, so he could give it to me. she wanted him to give it to me as-is, and he said no, [tinea] is very insistent on a certain color gold. so my mom said okay, take the stone and put it on a different setting. boy was having several problems with this: a) original ring is hideous, but will the sentiment outweigh my dislike of the style? b) the diamond is HUGE. any bands that could accommodate it were not the style that i wanted (low profile, simple), c) the diamond is not only HUGE, but COLORED. it would never work with the color gold i wanted, boy thought it would look ugly with certain other golds, and anything else he found that fit the narrow remaining criteria wasn't doing it for him style-wise. my grandmother hasn't been able to wear her rings for years, so i vaguely remembered what they looked like, but not really. boy pulls up the picture that my mom sent and i was like BLEUGH!! that ring. i HATE that ring. and the diamond is my least favorite color!! and he's like OMG I AM SO HAPPY WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!! and i was like dude, we both dodged the biggest bullet with this one, because i would have been so upset if you gave me that, but i would never tell you because you put so much thought into it, and then for years i would be feeling terrible because i hated it so much and lied about it and wouldn't know how to bring it up so i could get one i liked! i wish i had a picture of his face when i said all of that. it was just this hilarious, wild-eyed stare of terror and relief. and he said that seriously, he has been going to stores, looking online, etc etc for so long that he actually resigned himself to having to have a ring made, which would be considerably more expensive, and violating one of my major rules that i will not wear anything that would guarantee a mugging/murder were i caught in the wrong part of town. so, that was super cool and we both feel great about it now. now i know, it's coming sometime! that'll be the surprise. i love it. earlier in our phone conversation, before it went to ring talk, i jokingly said, yeah, you just need a lot of time to be sure about your decision. he replied, "oh i've BEEN sure. and i'm never getting divorced again. you can do whatever you want to me and i won't divorce you. you could even ... shit on my chest. still wouldn't divorce you." i was like oh man, i'm so relieved ..... just in case i decide i'm into that. ;-) |