boo! i think ER is going to be leaving us. boss gave him two weeks' notice before he has to cut some of his salary and put him on a higher percentage commission. ER has been miserable here for a long while, and has been looking for another job for over a year, but he never really showed much initiative because he was comfortable and made the same amount whether he sold anything or not. i helped him make a resume a long time ago and finally he put it to use upon finding out about the new pay structure and had an interview at amz today. he said he got in there and sat down and the interviewer said, i think i know you from somewhere. turns out, ER was HER manager 10 or so years ago. of course he was beloved by his employees because he's a wonderful guy, so of course she said that she'll hire him assuming all of his tests (drug, safety, physical, etc) come back okay.

i'm so sad because i love him dearly, but i'm also really excited for him. better pay, better hours, health coverage, taxes and everything taken out (he's a 1099 here and is in serious tax debt because when he first started he didn't know he had to pay the taxes himself).

MS might be leaving too (boss gave him the same notice) for a better job. i don't see MS much because he's at the other store, but if he does then i'll get a substantial raise because now boss will be off the hook for two salaries.

anyway, bittersweet, but either way good news.

i'm keeping busy, anxiously waiting until it's time to leave so i can get to my mom's house. i made a really awesome gift for the relative we visited in september and i'm like buzzing with excitement to give it. when i went out to pick up everyone's lunch today i stopped by the printer to get it and it came out amazingly!

i'm so excited, so happy about everything. boss gave me one of his extra fortune cookies yesterday and mine said, "happier days are definitely ahead for you. struggle has ended." thanks, universe!

2018-12-27: thank you everyone, for everything.
2018-12-21: the family tree.
2018-12-10: on being clean.
2018-12-06: ghosts.
2018-11-26: struggle has ended, part 2.



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i am a horrible person. i'm insecure. i'm crass, i'm cruel. i love but i am heartless. i write these things so i never forget who i am. in here, i withhold nothing. i live my life with no filter. this is the ugly, honest, hurtful, barebones, truth. i am not right. i am contagious.

i am trying my hardest to be a better person.