see, i just wrote last night and was all feeling great, then i got to work today and it was a day that boss was super annoying. i knew it would happen.

first of all, it's fucking absolutely pouring rain outside. i had to go get these books that only i am authorized to get, and we needed to have them by 8am on this coming wednesday. so i came into work knowing i had to go do this, but boss is like omg! try to call my insurance company any pay for my health insurance because it'll be cancelled effective midnight on jan 1 if they don't receive payment by then. i call them and they say you can't pay over the phone but an authorized insured can. okay, so i send it to boss's wife and go to drop off my order for the books. (i'd like to add here that i wrote the insurance check the other day and had it all ready to be mailed but for some reason he decided not to send it right away!?)

i get everyone lunch, then go back to pick up the books, and boss calls me back freaking out that they wouldn't let her pay on the phone so i needed to run to the PO to overnight the check. i grabbed the envelope i had already made and ran over there and got it out in time (his waiting til the last minute cost an extra $25 for express mail btw). i come back to the office and check my email and see that he fucking EMAILED me that the company has a completely different overnight address. i'm like omg what do you want me to do, i sent it to their regular address. he's like go over there and ask them to pull it so you can correct it!

so i go BACK over there, all of this in a downpour, just for fun, and i'm like omg i need you to pull that package i made earlier! she pulls it and changes the address for me, but since the truck was there waiting when i came, now the package wouldn't be sent with today's mail, and now might not even arrive on time.

i'm like boss, #1 why the fuck did you email me the address. i'm not sitting around just staring at my email all day! why didn't you tell me this on the phone!? #2, why the fuck do you wait until the last minute for EVERYTHING!! literally the last thing i wanted to be doing today was going out multiple times in a goddamn rainstorm! fuck!

not to mention i have all this shit i need to do before the end of the year, but i honestly don't care if it gets done. he's just going to have to postpone his accountant's visit - i'm not compromising my weekend plans to rush on this paperwork. one of my resolutions is to let other people deal with their own messes - it's nice to be able to help but no longer am i willing to stress on someone else's behalf. you should have planned better. that's it.

so anyway, thanks for being here with me through that rant, i just needed to get it out of my system. i don't understand some people's needs to needlessly make things extra difficult.

2019-01-14: getting old, shitty regular humans, reveries.
2019-01-09: on feeling human.
2019-01-07: ER.
2019-01-04: retail therapy.
2019-01-02: here's to living life.



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i am a horrible person. i'm insecure. i'm crass, i'm cruel. i love but i am heartless. i write these things so i never forget who i am. in here, i withhold nothing. i live my life with no filter. this is the ugly, honest, hurtful, barebones, truth. i am not right. i am contagious.

i am trying my hardest to be a better person.