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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
bff, feeling better.
2020-01-17 @ 9:02 p.m.
no one in this world makes me laugh harder than my brother. he's so fucking annoying but i love the shit out of him. i am thankful for our relationship because when we were kids i couldn't stand him. he always got away with murder and i was crushed for the most minor things. your typical golden child vs. scapegoat with a narcissist mother and an enabling stepfather. the dynamic was really terrible until he became a teenager and we started to understand each other. it was like, i was no longer the only moody, misunderstood child, and we both started to realize our parents were terrible. since then we've been inseparable. so today, i am so thankful for that, to remind me that i'm not really alone right now, and that i am still so sad but that it will pass, because everything changes, and if i keep doing what i think is right, it will lead me to where and with whom i need to be. i have a little bit more energy now (even though my period started, ugh) so for the first time in these couple of weeks i cleaned the kitchen thoroughly. i am really thankful for feeling better. i even caught myself dancing in the kitchen last night while i built my bargain grill. it will be okay. my heart still aches so badly but i know one day it won't. it's okay to be happy sometimes. it doesn't mean i love or miss him any less. okay well, i am starving for some reason so i'm going to go make myself a grilled chicken, portobello, onion, spinach, roasted red pepper, and mozz chese wrap with some sweet potato fries on the side. can't wait to eat it! then hopefully my cramps leave me alone long enough that i can make some little almond cookies with fig. been wanting to make these for weeks but they went low on the priority list. either tonight or tomorrow! i'm doing it! <3 |