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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
the best part of the week.
2013-02-16 @ 9:02 p.m.
there's nothing to really say about the past week, until we got to the past couple days. i have been a lot less stressed in some ways, because little A has gotten out of my ass. his mom got him minecraft for xbox for christmas, and an xbox live subscription recently, but neither of them realized that he could download his profile from her xbox (and also re-download minecraft on our console without having to pay for it again) onto ours until i informed him a couple weeks ago. so finally he's been not grounded and all the stars aligned, i showed him how to do it and he's been on there all day every day. i know what you might be thinking, but honestly he's finally socializing with people his own age, and he's doing something mentally stimulating instead of just laying in front of the tv eating food. it's so weird with this kid. when i was young, "watching tv" was not an activity. the tv would be on, sometimes, but it was usually just background to us doing something else. playing games. building stuff. he has more stuff than i ever dreamed of and half of it is still fresh in the box, completely untouched. i really don't get it. so anyway. valentine's day came and went, which i was super disappointed about that day, especially because boy came home empty-handed and i was like, wtf!? he got little A a pair of boxers and some candy and nothing for me, and i was like aww (i know it's a bullshit holiday but i mean come on, who wouldn't be a little sadface?). but he said, don't worry. your present is tomorrow at 8pm. so that made me excited. so like, side plot. their bathroom was the extra bathroom and i never thought anyone would use it so when i renovated the house i never did anything in there. flash forward to now, where it has been heavily trafficked by up to three people since i moved in. (who knew! wow, life.) so the tub needed to be re-caulked like crazy. it was so moldy and gross, and no matter how many times i cleaned it or scrubbed it, it wasn't looking any better, so i just said boy. please do this. so he scraped it all out thursday night and asked me to clean it (and to please get the grout as white as possible) so he could re-caulk it friday night before we left (yesterday). yesterday little A had no school, so he woke up and played minecraft all day until his mom picked him up in the afternoon. i woke up, played on the computer a little bit, talked to my brother (he's kind of over his girlfriend already, which is ultra awkward since they just moved in together at my DAD'S house) for an hour, and then set about cleaning the shower. man, i start scrubbing and scrubbing and as soon as i saw how much work it took to get the one section done, i was just like, fuck. this is going to suck. and it did. i'd say 50% of what made it so shitty too was that i couldn't stand IN the tub (i didn't want my bare feet in a pool of chemicals and have no waterproof shoes), so i had to reach in all of these awkward positions to reach every nook and cranny. i am proud to say that after all of that scrubbing and a couple of applications of bleach spray, it looks better now than it did when i moved in. i was so inspired that i went and did the same to my bathroom, which i thought would be easier because i clean it more often than theirs, but no. my makeup coupled with every soap and body wash i use being a different color made it equally as time-consuming and exhausting. luckily, i too now have a sparkling white bathroom. (ps, future self knows better than to choose brilliant white tile with white grout unless i have enough disposable income for a maid.) SO. i did all that and was just so sore and tired and dashed into the shower before boy got home. i got all shaved and moisturized and nice and fresh because i had this super cute dress with hearts on it that i was really excited to wear. but when boy calls on his way home he's like WE HAVE TO GET DRESSED AND GET OUT IN A HURRY WE HAVE A MILLION THINGS TO DO ON THE WAY AND OUR RESERVATION IS AT 8 BUT THERE'S SO MUCH TRAFFIC I'M NOT GOING TO GET HOME TIL 6:15 AND THE PLACE IS PRETTY FAR AWAY!!!!!! and i'm like omg honey. so much information, i wish you had told me about this stuff earlier! i felt SO rushed. and then all of that, and then when he actually GETS here he's like yeah i also forgot to tell you that tomorrow i have to meet this guy about a side job at 9am, and i know that you told me that we have to drop my car off at the mechanic's house as early as possible to get the car back quickly so that means we have to get to his house by 8am which means we need to get up tomorrow by 6:30! i was like UGGGHHHHHHH are you SERIOUS!? this kind of sucks now. and then furthermore? this was the plan: drop his car off in the morning, drop me off at my mom's for an undetermined amount of time (!!!), take MY car to the side job, and come back and get me later when the car was done. correction: it REALLY sucked now. so first things first, i didn't even want to get started stressing over today. i was like let's get tonight done with. we had to run to home depot for the caulk, to advance to exchange some old brakes for the new ones because we didn't think we'd have time to in the morning, and then to this mystery place. so to start off, he comes out of the shower, sees me in this adorable dress (which i was rocking the shit out of, by the way), and he's like, "you're really going to wear that the day after valentine's day?" and i was like, really!?!?!?!? it REALLY made me sad. i was so excited to wear it for this occasion when i bought it, and then we haven't been able to do anything together in forever, so i'm like what the fuck. the first time i get to get dressed up in forever, at least can i get a "hey you look nice." even worse that when he saw how immediately and deeply upset i was, he tried to say he was kidding, and i said, "no you weren't," because i know he wasn't. he doesn't just say stuff. i was seriously tearing up, sitting there like a little deflated balloon, saying i was going to change, and he's like NO NO DON'T CHANGE, YOU LOOK GREAT! i was just like, why does he pick the worst moments to be a thoughtless douche!? i decided i was going to wear it because i wanted to wear it, so i went into the closet to get a sweater, and he's like, "[tinea]!!!"' and i'm like don't. i'm getting a sweater. so we leave (WAY late) and he's like, oh so now you're going to be all weird? and i said exactly what i wrote up there. i was excited and you really shit on it. and he's like, you know i never mean to say anything mean to you. and i was like whatever man. just know that i feel like i look stupid now, and that you think i look stupid, and that's your fault. you wouldn't have said anything if you didn't think it, so live with the guilt that you bummed me the fuck out. so we're driving along, and he's sorry sorrying me, and he goes north on the highway instead of south by accident, and REALLY starts freaking out because he was told that they only hold reservations for 15 minutes beyond the time, so if you're late you're beat, and also we left so late that we weren't going to be able to get to advance. and he's like, we can't go! we HAVE to get to advance tonight (because you know, the guy needs the parts to do the car and we're getting there at 8am)!! through the power of the interwebz i find out that advance opens at 7:30, and i found one that was halfway between the mechanic and our house. crisis averted. but we were still going to be 30 minutes late for dinner. he was really beating himself up over it, getting really upset that he went the wrong way and wasted a couple minutes turning around, and i'm like, "whatever, it's okay, we'll just go somewhere else!" and he's like, "no, i really really want you to be able to have this. ugh i'm ruining everything!" so then i did feel kind of bad for him because he really was upset that things were turning out all crazy. i told him to just call and tell them we were going to be late, because i've been late to MANY reservations to MANY restaurants, and they will usually help you out if you have the common courtesy to call ahead so they can shuffle you around. he did, and they said it was no problem. so he stopped freaking out and we both stopped having attitudes with each other because we were so excited to finally be able to hang out. he took me to one of my favorites where we smiled at each other and thoroughly enjoyed almost every single bite of this. (the almost is for the okra in the short rib entree. fucking okra! ugh.) it was really nice, and i felt great and happy until we got about halfway home and i started filling with increasing dread at the proposition of having to sit around at my mom's house from 8am to who knows. with NO ESCAPE. my parents are the kind of people who won't ever let you borrow their cars or anything, even though you're 30 years old, and have never had a ticket or an accident that was your fault in your entire driving career despite having logged some serious mileage. so i was like ... omg. what if i'm there until 1? 4?? i can't. i was working myself into a panic attack over this until i said, "can i just come with you tomorrow and sit in the car? i'll bring a book or something." and he said, "of course, why?" and i told him i couldn't be trapped at my mom's like that. and he's like, oh, it's like that? yeah. it is. we got home from dinner and got directly in bed, chilling out for a while until it was time to get naked. oh, sex. it's so great. but i slept like shit. i forgot to take a benadryl before bed so i kept waking up sneezing, too hot, too cold, thirsty, you name it. the last time i looked at my clock before falling asleep it was just after 1 am, and then i woke up at 3, 4 (i was awake for at least 45 minutes this time), and around 6, 15 minutes before the alarm. ugh!!! so i was not feeling enthusiastic about the day, which began rushed because boy didn't wake up until 10 minutes before we had to leave. we get coffee then race up to the auto parts store (i went ahead to the mechanic to wait), then he hops in my car and we're off to bradley beach for this side job. he thought he was going to be late, but i drive like a fucking racecar driver so we got there with a few minutes to spare. as he's heading over to the next location, the guy who's in charge of the whole job comes over to meet me for some reason. and i'm like, uhh okay, and he's like no no, come in with us to the next house, it's okay! and i'm like, ehh why not? it's something to do. so i go in and it's this really nice older couple. boy is walking around, looking, and i can see on his face that he TOTALLY doesn't want to do the job. it's far as hell away from home and even my untrained eye could tell that it's a LOT of work. he'd have to go every single day after work for at least two weeks and that's even being conservative. that, on top of the first house that i found out the owner was only paying $300 for this super pain in the ass thing. he realized it wouldn't be worth it to him when gas and materials were factored in, so he called this guy who's been out of work forever who lives right up the road. the guy was so happy to get thrown such a generous and convenient bone, and said he'd be over to meet boy around 1pm. we stood around and talked to the guy who was in charge of the whole job for a minute, and before we left, i was going to shake his hand again and he gives me this huge hug. aww, old hippies. love em! this guy was awesome, too. wearing a neck warmer as a hat over his long hair, flannel shirt, slippers. think shaggy from scooby doo and jay from jay and silent bob mixed together to make one middle aged, super mellow dude. that really made me smile. it was only like 11am, so we had to figure out what to do until 1. hippie dude suggested this breakfast place up the road, but boy was like, fuck that man, let's go to white castle later! and i'm like sheeeeit, absolutely. but i still need food now to hold me over. so we run to the hardware store to get the supplies for the other guy for later, then to this italian bakery across the street for some treats, then to nearby ocean grove so we could grab some coffee at this amazing little place in town, then park at the beach and look out at the ocean while we had breakfast. oh and let me interrupt myself to say that it was snowing like crazy for all of this, but it was 65 degrees yesterday and i wore a dress and a light jacket to dinner. okay then. snowy, cold beach was beautiful, and we sat together and thought how neat it was that the day was working out like this. we actually were getting to hang out, and it was almost like when we take a drive on the weekends. it was kind of romantic, even. much later on, he was looking at his one tattoo and was like yeah, what was the word for that repeating image thing? and i said, a tessellation? and he's like yeah. how funny was that when that girl at the coffee shop was totally trying to hit on me by bringing up my tattoos, and she was trying to figure out that word? when you actually knew it, did you see her face? she was totally like, "i was NOT talking to you." and i was like, yeah, actually, i saw her eyeing your hands up and i knew she was going to start trying to talk to you about them. and boy was like, haha yeah, she totally didn't really care what that word was. i love how she just walked away when you said it. and i laughed, and he said, "it was so awesome. girl's trying to hit on me, then bam! vagina-blocked by my smart girlfriend. that's so hot." haha! i love a man who appreciates my brains. so we ate our breakfast, then drove into deal to see the mansions, and by time we made it up to long branch the guy called boy and said he was there already. we headed back (we were only 15 minutes away) and i said, okay. how long will you be? and boy says, 15 minutes! i'm not doing shit today! i wanted to hang out with you! awesome. so that's what it was, then we headed back to get his car. we're about halfway there, and i say, um, why don't you call first? good thing we did, because the guy said it wouldn't be ready until 4!! it was 1 o clock! so we were near the exit for route 9 toward freehold, where the mall and everything is, so i just got on it. and as i'm heading up 9, i think to myself, we're only like 20 minutes away from the asian supermarket in new brunswick. we've been dying to try this curry mix we love in "extra hot," so i figured we should go there, try to find that, and get some snacks and just have fun looking around. we did, AND i got an adorable new mug with a lid (keeps your drink hot for soooo much longer). neither of us could stop saying how happy we were that it all worked out like this, that we were finally able to spend some time together. we drove down to white castle, ate, and by that time the lack of sleep was catching up with me. by time we got back to boy's car, my eyes were glazing over. halfway home, on the highway, i get a phonecall. it's boy, asking, are you alright? i'm like, yeah, i'm tired, but i'm okay. and he's like, i saw you rubbing your eyes a lot, so i got worried. (turns out he was right behind me the whole time. what a good boyfriend!) we got home, and he says, you still want to take a nap? and i'm like fuck yeah. i wanted to have sex and THEN take a nap, but i got undressed, got next to his warm body, and just passed out. i set an alarm for 8 but actually left the bed at 8:30 because boycat wanted to sleep on my chest for a while. my poor baby boy. boyfriend never got up, but that's okay, because it's 1am now and i'm tired again. we have a long day of gaming ahead of us tomorrow :) and some extra hot curry! so excited. valentine's day turned into a wonderful weekend of reconnecting. today, a day i was dreading, turned into an easy day of kisses and good food and warm snuggling. mmm. hope this wasn't a crazy nonsensical ramblefest. it feels weird to take a nap at night, then wake up from it at night. very disorienting. i keep wondering if this is really happening right now, if i'm awake. i think i am, so i'm going to remedy that. goodnight. |