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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
nothing to see here.
2013-03-20 @ 8:17 a.m.
i've been completely paralyzed this past week. i have a lot of guilt over what happened with boycat. i just feel like i could have/should have done more, but i don't know what else i could have done. i know that this is a normal part of grieving, but it's really consuming me and i don't know what to do. boy has been very emotionally available for me, which i really appreciate, because if he wasn't there to listen to me then i would be a lot more miserable than i am right now. he calls me every morning at his first break just to see how i am doing. i never get the mail, because it's usually bills that i already receive via email or it's huge piles of junk paper. but boy got it yesterday, and inside were two cards, one from boycat's regular vet and one from the hospital. every single person who had seen him wrote a personal note and signed it. i thought that was really nice, but of course it made my heart hurt. the one awesome thing that happened is that the neighbor across the street came over and asked if i could get her kid J on the bus in the morning with little A. at first, i was like ugh, how annoying! but then little A decided he wants to finally act like a big kid and walk down to the bus stop (i usually get up early, warm up the car, and drive him down there) with J in the morning. so THAT is great, because now all i have to do in the morning is wake up, make his lunch, and chill out with my coffee. it'll work. anyway. |