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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
what?
2013-05-13 @ 4:52 p.m.
we're on the phone, discussing a possibly upcoming interview with a gentleman for whom i would be a personal secretary. like, a personal secretary, if you know what i mean. boy is telling me the whole spiel, make sure he's okay with it being safe, make sure it's worth your while, etc. and i'm like, honey, i know. and then he says, "just ... please don't leave me." and i couldn't think of anything else to do but just ... burst out in a surprised laugh, and i said, "i would never!" but he was so quiet and serious, and i felt bad about laughing, but i said, "but seriously, i would never. you're my GUY. you're the only one for me." and he's like, "well, you know ..." and i said, "honey. it would never happen. you would have to pry me off with a stick to get rid of me." it's weird, to have someone just as afraid of losing you as you are them. when you've had nothing but incredibly dysfunctional relationships your entire life, and your model of a relationship during your formative years is also the most dysfunctional thing ever, being in a normal relationship [finally] is sometimes unsettling. so sometimes boy says these things, taking me completely off guard, and i'm like, ah. i'm not the only one emotionally invested. now we're going to bed. last night i was rubbing his hands and he fell asleep, his big swollen fingers entwined with mine. how could i ever even imagine leaving you. |