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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
i'm going to strangle you later.
2013-05-21 @ 2:49 p.m.
ugh, now that it's warmer outside and it's short sleeves and dress weather, it's that time of year when people are just like, open-mouthed staring at us when we go places. and i totally understand, because if i saw another couple like us somewhere i'd probably look at them pretty hard too. but it's still really annoying. it's so rude! boy and i both are the first to admit that we love to check people out. boys, girls, it doesn't matter. but we know better than to stand there with our mouths agape! come on. didn't our parents teach us this when we were little? speaking of boy, i'm still pretty irritated by him but he definitely knows it, and i think he's had plenty of time to think about what i was trying to say. this morning, i was sitting down here in the basement, talking to my brother, and in the background boy was buzzing around, throwing away old paper and organizing his space, which is something i've been trying for months to get him to do. then i came out of the shower before we ran to target and he was stripping the dirty sheets off of the bed. i started to help him and he was like, no no i've got it! go finish getting ready! and i said, i am. and he was like, yeah, i just knew it had to be done so i was just trying to help. like, that's all i want, man. don't be lazy and don't be rude. i was trying to think of a way to really explain what i was so frustrated about, and the best way i can say it is that as a couple, there's just ... everywhere that your focus has to be, but the bottom line is that: chores must be done, money must be made, bills must be paid. that's it. everything else that we do is to achieve one of these goals. and then when we've done that stuff, we can have fun. and it turns out that his "thing" is going to work and making all the money [and a tiny bit of parenting when he gets home]. my "thing" is ... everything else [and making a tiny bit of money from my biz]. i know i've said this before. and though it totally sucks for me (just because i hate the child-rearing part of this so much), we both feel that our loads are equal. but then he does this falling asleep shit, and the attitude shit, and then i ALSO get stuck doing his parenting, and his PERSONAL responsibilities (cleaning up after himself, walking to the other room to get things, running his errands, etc), it's really not cool. because i've told him 1,000 times, i'll do pretty much anything you ask me to if i know you'll appreciate it. i'm one of those people who loves giving and doing for others, but i'll take it all back if i'm nice to you and you tell me to go fuck myself. i'm not even about that shit. i hope he really gets it. i mean really. because it's one of those things, i don't want it to come to the point where i have to say it to him, but he really needs to grow up. he's a grown up, with a kid, and a partner. as an intelligent, contributing member of society, you owe it to the world to raise a decent kid (because SOOOOO many people are not!), and you cannot do that effectively if you are acting like one yourself. you need to be the example. i said it to him when we were fighting on saturday about how much of a total douche he was being, and i even said it in front of little A. the same standard of behavior goes for everyone. don't yell at little A about being rude, having an attitude, and all that shit if you're doing the exact same thing. i will put you on blast. and now he knows it. saturday was also the first time that little A has seen me get really mad and "yell" at boy (i don't yell, i just talk really hard), and i don't usually think things like that are appropriate but it was more of an issue of "family meeting, wherein i tell everyone here right now that no one gets to do that shit." a woman can only take so much bullshit. why do i write things and then forget to press done? i hate how often i'm interrupted. |