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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
starting fresh.
2016-08-04 @ 11:22 p.m.
i had a bunch of random thoughts that i wanted to assemble but i got home from work late as fuck and i'm like meh, i just feel like taking a nice long shower and chillin with mi gato, so i'll be brief. i was talking to boy on the phone at work, about an hour before i actually ended up leaving, and he was like, "holy shit you're still at work?" and i'm like yeah, there was just a lot to do today. some days are super boring and i don't have anything to do, but even then i realize man, i really really love my job! such a strange feeling for me. i know i say this all the time, but i just love everyone i work with. i love that i can make my own schedule for the most part, and come and go as i please. i can wear whatever i want, i have my own half of the office, i can play pandora all day, and there's no one up my ass. last week i talked to my brother for an hour on the phone while i typed some shit up. i can get in my car and drive to get lunch whenever i want. there is no "lunch break," i (we, really, since i eat with ER almost every day) just get our food and usually a few of us will just congregate in ER's office and hang out and eat together. (oh, speaking of ER, i didn't have to fret about what boss told me for long because a couple days later he sat down with ER and told him everything that was going on so they're working on improving business. whew!) but anyway, while i was on the phone with boy i was sitting down with boss and we were doing some paperwork, and he was overhearing my end of the conversation. when i got off the phone he was like, "wow you guys sound like a couple of teenagers on the phone, how long have you been together? this is the guy you went to high school with?" and i said yeah, and he was like wow i am really happy to hear that you still have such passion for each other. and i said yeah, you know, a lot of shit went down but every single day since then we have both realized that we just don't want to be without each other. i thought it was super cute. last weekend when i was at boy's we were outside of a friendly's waiting for our ice cream and we started holding hands and kissing like teenagers. we had gotten in a small fight earlier - more like a tiff, really - and as soon as he started getting all huffy i was like stop. stop what you're doing and look at me and talk to me. i am telling you that what you said made me feel in a way. if you did not intend it in a douchey way, then just say that. i have a history of people in my life being incredibly douchey to me so i am sensitive to that. and he was like, no i was just kidding, i did not mean to be douchey to you. i'm sorry. and i was like okay cool. i'm sorry i overreacted. and then we hugged and moved on. it was awesome. we are making progress. it feels pretty nice to start feeling like a normal person with normal adult relationships. on a final note, the weather in nj has been absolutely incredible this week! like, happy to be alive incredible. it's been between 79-83 and NO humidity (compared to the last 2 weeks where it was like 95-100 daily and super high humidity). i turned off my air and opened the doors and windows and both my cat and i feel so excellent. falling asleep to the sound of the wind and the crickets and the owls outside my windows. the cool breeze blowing over my bed in the morning. man, what else can you ask for. ok that ended up a little longer than intended but i was just going off the cuff. goodnite, i am headed into that delightful shower. |