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tinea:any of a number of infectious diseases



�what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux

"i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes

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reached the surface, saw the sun.
2019-03-08 @ 8:05 p.m.


DR's birthday was the other day so i made him cupcakes. like good ones, from scratch. he was delighted and boss took a picture and sent it to his sister (DR's mom). she replied with this ridiculously gushing message of thank you and bless me and etc etc. it was sweet, because she's so over the top sweet and gracious but that's how she is all the time, so i know it was really genuine.

boss replied to her by saying "[tinea] said enough with the bullshit." i feigned outrage but boss's sister knows well that he is a jackass so i wasn't really upset.

later she texted me like 7 times thank you and bless you and that she loves me and everyone loves me and is so happy to have me as a part of their family. and that DR is a sweet sensitive boy who looks up to me a lot and loves me too and was so happy that i did this for him.

and i was like, aww. genuinely aww. i really do love them too. i'm so happy to have people and be a part of this.

i truly feel like a character in a movie or an anime or something who had to lose everything before they could access their ultimate power. i feel like i gained a new skillset, a whole new level. i am not this mean, hateful, bitter, negative witch that i allowed myself to turn into. i love being kind, pleasant, i love helping others and connecting with them. i love to laugh, be light, engage in small talk even though i'm super awkward. i love to give myself to others - my time and my attention and my respect (as long as they deserve it, of course). and i give it honestly. and people like that, and they like me, the true authentic me that was deep down inside there. i just had to dig her out.

anyway, i love everybody, things are great. about to have a great weekend. great leftovers in the fridge. sunshine and family tomorrow. gaming and snuggling sunday. my sweater came, it matches my shoes perfectly. can't wait for the spring. can't wait for the green to return. so happy to be a person for the first time.