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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
yet another year, and i'm still here.
2019-06-17 @ 8:54 p.m.
i was so absolutely pumped about this weekend and it came and went in a flash but it was so good. every single bit of it. i ate the best food, i spent time with my favorite people in the world, i spent a fraction of the amount of money i thought i was going to, everything was so fun and so great and plans worked out perfectly and i am so happy. like, so so happy! and then today i came into work and found that boss's sister brought me a gift and took the time to make me some delicious snacks, and brought mom too, and they all sang and boss bought me lunch (vietnamese! it was so good) and we went on errands together and he told me i'm not allowed to retire until he dies (haha) and it was great. boss said i seemed so happy and i said yeah, i really am. and he said it couldn't happen to a nicer person. and that meant so much to me man, like i've always just tried so hard to be that person who is pleasant even on my worst day. i think the world needs more kindness and patience and softness, so i try so hard to be that person. and boss really knows that about me, and i appreciate that so much about him, because it is an asset and a weakness of mine, because boy exploited my nature. i was doing inventory and thinking to myself, can you imagine if i had quit this job like boy wanted, and had never lived in this town i now, to go up there to the gray, depressing industrial wasteland where boy lived? in that dark, dank, cigarette-stinking apartment with paper thin walls. with a person who, when asked to please try their best not to kick me so hard in the middle of the night, told me i could "sleep on the fucking floor." can you fucking even. imagine that. i truly don't think i would still be on this earth right now if i had made that decision. jesus christ. i chose life, i really did. that day was a turning point. i chose life, i chose me. for the first time, i chose me. me at any cost. the universe smiles upon me. i really do love everyone and am so thankful for this second family of mine. what if i had never met all of these people, and known what family can be? what love can really feel like? can you even imagine? wow. time for some food and video games. time to wind down. can't wait for this weekend, can't wait for tomorrow. love you bye! |