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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
life expectancy.
2019-06-26 @ 9:15 p.m.
second entry today. weird, i know. i'm just writing because this afternoon, boss called his accountant to see how he was doing and how his weekend was and he was like yeah, i'm not going to be getting the special cancer treatment. it's over, i can't afford it. so to back up, between now and when i wrote last about him (opens in new tab), when we learned it had spread to his brain and he thought he only had 6 months, we also learned there is a specialist in tx who does some kind of alternative treatment who might be able to help him. he didn't think he'd be able to afford to fly down there and stay, and then the treatment on top of it, so boss and one of his friends were like yo listen, money is not an object, we will buy you the plane tickets. go NOW. so he got a referral there. now (wow, it was less than a month ago?), during a 3-way call with boss and his friend, acct tells them that he had a phone consultation, they reviewed all of his medical records, and yes they can do the treatment but it's going to cost $100,000 out of pocket, and yes that is with insurance. so he says, it's over, i can't afford it. plus if i can't work and i'm getting this treatment then no money will be coming in. how will we pay the bills? so boss is like it doesn't matter, we'll raise the money. i'll sell one of my rentals. [friend] is going to buy the plane tickets right now, just go there and we'll figure it out. he turns to me and says [tinea] is starting a gofnd right now (and i did). it's going to be fine. you're going to be okay. and acct started saying, with this strikingly uncharacteristic fragility in his voice, everyone is leaving me. you guys are going with [new accountant], and [this person] and [that person] took their stuff and left too. i don't know what i'm going to do, i have to work. and boss said [acct], [new acct] is just helping you right now until you're better. we're not going anywhere. you'll still get my check this month. no one is leaving you. boss's friend chimed in that he wasn't going anywhere either. they hung up and boss and friend conferred a few moments while friend tried to find me the info on the clinic to add to the fundraiser. we were interrupted by acct's wife calling friend, so we hung up and boss and i went home. i got home, talked to my mom, changed. smoked some weed. getting ready to settle in for some gaming and boss just called. he said we have to change the fundraiser. the friend called back and said that acct's wife said please, don't try to get his hopes up. don't try to get him to do this. acct hasn't wanted to tell anyone but the cancer is all over his body. it's not just in his leg and his brain, it's everywhere. let him just make peace with it. wow. it's so horrible to hear, but i can't imagine being acct. i don't even know what to say. to think, a month ago you thought you had six months. that sucks, but six months is a long time. but really, it's more like a month now. his family, his kids. my heart aches thinking of it. and boss. he's going to be so upset. this sucks so badly. i am acquainted with acct but we don't know each other, but i want so badly to just go and give him a hug and ask him what i could do, even some stupid little thing like bake some cookies, that could help make him feel a little happy, for a minute. it's super out of the question because this guy is pretty stubborn and ... abrasive, and he would not like it, and would probably be really offended. so i'll just do what i can to help behind the scenes and hope that it makes a difference, however small it may be. depressing day today, i'm sorry. but life be like that sometimes. my mother called to say she and my stepdad had been looking at assisted living facilities for my grandmother. they're moving in a few years and our family has been blessed with longevity, and they want to be prepared for when she lives to be 100. my uncles are disgustingly useless and have not participated in her care or in these decisions in the slightest. my mom said to me, we're trying to make sure that we have all of this shit figured out and paid for so you and your brother don't have to worry about it. i appreciate that, but you know, anything can happen. she worries so much about how much money i make and retirement and roth iras, but i wish she would just stop and recognize that it doesn't matter, that she raised two children who will step up and be there for their parents no matter what happens, even though they are fucking terrible. because they are people too, and they are my family, and other people is all that any of us really have in this world. |