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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
two long days, some talks, the weather.
2019-07-16 @ 11:30 p.m.
i guess this will be another quick one too, because i don't really have much substance to say, just kind of reminding myself of things that have happened. i don't want this period of my life to become a blur, not because i think i'll forget it - everything after boy seems to be in vivid technicolor - but because time now feels like it is flying by and before i know it, it'll be a month from now. on saturday i drove, and it was a beautiful day but my gps was taking me not the way i really wanted to go, so it was kind of meh. i also had planned to go eat at a new location of this restaurant franchise i love that was convenient to my travels, but decided against it in favor of getting home in time to grill. it's a tiny grill so i have to do many batches, and i thought you know, if i get home while the sun is still up tonight i can finish everything, eat some of it for dinner (thus spending no money) and have everything ready for the week and not have to cook and mess up the kitchen at all on sunday. that seemed really attractive to me, so i did it, and was SUPER happy i did. because i did not have to cook sunday, i saved a ton of time only having to do the dishes once, put everything away, and it was still early in the day. i was like hey self, let's go nuts and clean the entire apartment. if you do it now it'll be super clean all week, and all you'll have to do is come home from work and relax every day. so i did exactly that, which took me until 9:30 or so sunday evening, but i'm telling you it is spotless and so uncluttered in here now. i love my cat like crazy, i really do. but this guy has WAY too many toys and they were everywhere! once i picked up all of his toys and various empty boxes and paper bags and shit, the place started feeling bigger. then once the bookshelves and everything were dusted and wiped down everything looked good, smelled good, felt good. it was so nice to take a shower in my freshly cleaned shower, then step onto my freshly laundered bath mat (i love the first few times you use a mat after you wash it and it's all plush and squishy between your toes), use my fresh towel. it's the little things. now i really am taking care of myself. past me really set current me up for success, because i ended up having two 10 hour days so far this week! the rest is probably going to be crazy too because we didn't get anything done these past couple of days. so i'm really happy i have all of this food already prepared and no grocery shopping to do and everything is clean and neat. our mason came by today because he hadn't seen how my unit came out after all of the work they did in here, and i was happy to let him in and show him around. he was like "wow, i could really live in here." everything is good. i am so happy and proud of where i am. tonight, after delivering furniture to his middle son who has just moved out and into his first place with his friends, and having dinner during which boss housed like half a pizza, two dinner rolls, and half of his son's penne bolognese, we headed back down here at 10:00ish, and enjoyed a ride together during which i told boss my life story and he was like oh. you always said it wasn't great but i didn't understand. and i was like yeah man. i wasn't like ... sold into child slavery or molested or anything but it was hard, it was lonely, and i don't really have any good memories. at 35, i'm pretty excited to be able to do whatever i want for the first time in my miserable fucking life. i think i've said it before, but what i really like about boss is his effort to understand people. his beliefs, his life so far, it's all so different from most of the people he meets, really. his culture is just that different. on the way up there he was saying something about how in his culture, you take care of your parents when they get older. NOT doing that isn't even a thing, so sometimes when he'll be hearing about, or we'll be talking about someone older who has family but no one, and no help actively in his/her life, boss's mind can't even wrap around it. slightly related, earlier in the day i had been telling him how i was saving up for our family vacation in less than two months (!!) and he was like ... why are you saving up? and i said, because i want to be able to buy stuff when i go there?? and he's like yeah, but aren't your parents going to be there? and i said yeah, and? and he's like what, they're not paying for you? i was like lol wtf are you talking about? we were both so confused by this conversation, it was so funny. we are from completely different planets but somehow get along so well. -- yeah as you can see that last entry rapidly turned into something that was not real quick, and i got really tired, actually. i still have the period sleeps so i got in bed so early and ended up sleeping terribly! ugh, then of course i got cramps an hour after waking up, and they were pretty severe for most of the day, and just for fun the heat index was fucking 104 today so i was an all around miserable grump. i looked really cute though, so i had that going for me. so i got home early tonight, now it's wednesday already, and in a few hours will be thursday. miserable heat until next week, 101 on saturday. what will i do? i want to go out but it's not even fun when it's that hot. my parents asked if i wanted to go to the beach, and i do, but i hate hanging out with them because they're so fucking miserable. now, they've gotten into this thing where they'll individually corner me and complain about the other one, and i'm always sitting there thinking dude. i think both of you are assholes so you're kind of preaching to the choir here. but i also don't even feel bad for you, because you're both so childish and awful. you deserve each other, truly. like leave me alone and let's talk about cats and drink martinis and have a good time. boss just called me all crazed because he got stuck on the highway in a torrential downpour. then, he got to where he was going but the power is out all over the place. my mom, only about 15 miles away from where he is right now, said they haven't had a drop of rain yet. an hour south of both of them, i am worried that my power is going to go out any minute so let me wrap this up before i make it another 3 day event. love you bye! |