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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
i am ready.
2019-09-13 @ 1:24 a.m.
i am back. it was so amazing it doesn't even feel real. i tried so hard to really just do whatever, no reservations, and just have fun. and i really, really did. the days flew by. i didn't want it to end, but at the same time i couldn't WAIT to get home. i missed my little dude so much. he went nuts when he heard my voice outside the window. he's going to sleep directly next to my face tonight. i am sunburnt. i didn't think it could happen to me but looks like i was fucking wrong about that one. it hurts! i'll never giggle at your lobster skin again, white people. i'm sorry, i get it now T_T i am absolutely exhausted. who knew living could be this good? i thought so many times that if i were still with boy, it would have been terrible. as i made decisions and we all planned out our days, there are so many times that would have been awful with him, so many things i would have missed out on, so many times i would have been embarrassed by him. the stress i would have been under the whole fucking time. independently of each other, both my brother and my mom mentioned him. my mom said, "i don't think we would even be here right now if you were still with him." now, we want to do this again in another couple of years. how much i've lived in the past two years. was it worth losing 8 years of my life? more and more lately, i think so. even though i feel so old, i really am still young. if the universe wills it, i still have a while left to go. there's so much more to see and do. i am ready. |