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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
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2020-02-07 @ 11:34 a.m.
i've mentioned before that RW is mentally disabled, and he's also hearing impaired, so he talks a little "funny." he has hearing aids but you still have to yell at him a little when you talk to him, and often have to repeat yourself a few times. none of this really matters, though, because he is a very hard worker, and is always trying to be helpful. sure, he's a little slow, but if you're patient with him and clear in your instructions, and understand how to assist him (write things down, don't give him too much information at once, etc) then he's an amazing coworker. a couple nights ago i had a really long, arduous experience with some customers and RW was right here with me, paying attention to our conversations so he could run and grab me the inventory we were talking about, bringing me anything i needed and answering any questions he knew the answers to. last night i was telling boss that i really don't understand why ER complains about him so much because he is an excellent helper. if i got stuck here forever doing ER's job, i would WANT RW as my partner! all of this to say that sometimes people come in here - even people that we know well! - and talk down to RW. it absolutely disgusts me sometimes to hear the way and the tone in which people speak to this man. it's so gross. MS used to complain about him all the time too, but when i came over here a few times to help MS with a sale, i heard how he spoke to RW. the "attitude" RW would get is because he is a grown ass man being spoken down to like a toddler. i'd start getting a little rude too. this angry little intro came about because one of our wholesale guys just stopped in, and i like the guy a lot, but he was just so rude to RW for no fucking reason. like he'll make little comments TO RW, insinuating that RW has no idea what's going on, and "well you know how he is." jesus christ, he is a human being who is doing his best out there even with his limitations. how dare you try to devalue him because of them. if you meet someone smarter than you, or wealthier than you, does that give them the right to shit on you? wtf man. anyway, yesterday had a conversation with my brother that started awesome but ended shitty. he was all excited about his raise and everything, and i was excited for him, then somehow we started talking about our parents and how fucked we're going to be in a few years when they start really aging. we both agreed that we'll probably get a random call from a strange woman one day telling us our dad died, and that our mother will live to be as old and terrible as our grandmother. listen, i love my grandmother so much but she has some incredibly toxic personality traits which she passed directly to my mother. she absolutely tortures her children because she can and because she feels they owe it to her for their existence. my mother can't see (really, she can't accept) that she does the EXACT same things as her mother, but while my grandmother just does it to be "cute" my mom does it because she has a serious personality disorder. this is only going to get worse as we all get older, so my brother and i were like dude, there's only the two of us so we really need to be strong and be there for each other because we've got another 10 years maybe before shit starts to get wild. i told my brother that i love our parents, and i hope he does too, but i'm not giving up my life for either of them. i know them too well and one or both of us won't make it out alive. finally, i've been having some tough talks with boss. every now and then he acknowledges that i know what i'm talking about. i said i know i'm fucking goofy but i'm smart, and you're going to burn out sooner rather than later if you keep trying to take on your entire family's problems while also burning the candle at both ends. this is why they tell you to put on your own mask first when you're on a plane. you can't help anyone when you're dead. he has this situation going on with his sister and her divorce. (he told me the event that sparked it all into motion - one of her rampages over something really minor resulted in them getting their lease non-renewed with no time to spare. her husband was like why do you create situations like this? it didn't have to be a big deal. this is wearing me thin. and she's like fuck you, divorce me then. and he was like, okay. bye. kind of can't blame the guy.) his parents hate each other. his mom calls him daily crying about how miserable she is, and she's constantly getting sick. apparently his dad is also a terror to his mom behind closed doors. his kids are a mess, i've already told you about him and his wife, and on top of all of this, he is drowning in money problems. i keep trying to tell him that first and foremost he needs to put himself first. if that means telling his family he just can't talk today because he has too much of his own shit going on, then that's what he needs to do. but you can't let yourself get sucked down into the bog too if you're the only one available to pull everyone else out. that's just how it is. alright well. i want to write more but i have so much stuff to do, as usual. today is 1/3 over and i just need to survive tomorrow. -- i just went out to pick up lunch for us and boss and i ate together. after he left, RW yelled from across the room, "1 day and 4 hours left!" i told him i'm excited and tomorrow we'll have a little party :) i can't wait to get back to normal life, normal sleep, normal schedule. eating good homemade food instead of fast food every day. dealing with customers really takes a lot out of me. i'm really happy that the people who are close to me in my life understand how emotionally and psychologically drained i get from "social" stuff. like my cousin asked me if i wanted to do some brewery crawls with her and her friends but said she knows stuff like that is not my "thing." i didn't have to be a jerk and turn her down because it was in the midst of these two weeks, but i appreciated her giving me an easy out. -- well i had to do payments and it took me all of the rest of the afternoon so i guess i'll abruptly end here. thanks for tuning in. one day left! <333 |