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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
all accomplishments.
2020-03-01 @ 1:27 p.m.
so much has happened! best friend and i did our first official event for the project and it was amazing! we just kept saying to each other all night, "we did it, we fucking did it." we got so much positive feedback. it was absolutely exhilarating. however, as intense as this achievement high is, i am equal parts fucking exhausted! it was a lot of time and physical work, anxiety leading up to it (what if we fuck up? what if some freak accident occurs and this event that is relying on us can't go off as planned? what if we just suck?), and social interaction. my social battery was completely drained by the time it kicked off, and i really just wanted to go home but the company was good, so we stayed later than we wanted to. all in all, it was amazing. we both said if we died tomorrow, we would feel that we were successful in achieving this goal. then, in cat updates, the night before last(? i think? i'm sorry, the last 3 days just blended together in my mind), we had a breakthrough. i was sitting on the floor, just staying still, getting him used to walking near me (because to him i'm a giant so sitting down i'd be a little less intimidating). at first, he wouldn't come out of the bedroom if i was blocking the path to the kitchen. then, he would come out, but he'd take a wide path around me. that night, he walked by quickly, but he almost brushed against me. i took out one treat and put it on the carpet, and he came right over to eat it. the second i held in my fingers, and he sniffed me and rubbed his face against my finger, and it was as if a switch flipped in him and he started rubbing his face all over my hand. he ate the treat out of my fingers, then rubbed his head and neck all over my hand. i stayed really still and he licked my toes? (weirdo) then came back for my hand, so this time i scratched him a little. that's all it took - he started rolling around and purring like a madman. he let me pet and scratch him only with my right hand, so i did, and then he took off to play. last night (yes i was correct about the date mentioned above) i got home so late and so tired that i really didn't have the energy for anything but a shower and to feed him. he came out pretty soon after i got home, which he hadn't previously been doing, while i was in the bathroom (a room which he was previously afraid of). after my shower he approached me in the kitchen. he also had never done that before, either, because the kitchen is small and enclosed, and the refrigerator kind of sticks out into the doorway, making it a narrow pass. he wouldn't come in if i was in there. last night he came in and demanded wet food. i was like oh shit, okay boss. i woke up super late today and started going about my business. i was getting my second cup of coffee when mr. big came out, screaming the whole way. hahaha. from the bedroom to the kitchen he yelled at me, so i gave him his morning wet food (i always put it out for him in the morning but he would never eat it until the evening when i got home). he sniffed around and played for a little bit, so i sat down to see if he would let me pet him again. he let me scratch him again, only right hand, so i scratched his neck good and hard. he went NUTS. dropped and rolled, started purring so hard it sounded like he was hyperventilating, then got up and circled me and rubbed against my whole body. i told him he was being a great boy and gave him some treats, which made him so excited he came over and smashed his face between both of my hands, so my left hand petting ability was thus unlocked. i scratched him all over for a good 15 minutes while he purred and thrashed wildly. it was so great to watch him watching me as i slowly approached him, and he closed his eyes as he realized i wasn't going to hurt him. he didn't flinch, he trusted me. i'm really so happy, and i think he is too. i don't want to, but think i will, end up waiting one more week before i vacuum. it needs it badly in here, but he just became comfortable with most of the rooms (the bathroom is still iffy for some reason), so i want him to be really settled in before i unleash that scary sound. so everything is great, we're becoming fast friends. i'm going to lay around on the couch all day and regain my strength, maybe bake some scones later on. i know i have sooooooooo much work to catch up on this week so it's going to be crazy for me. let me enjoy this day of rest while it lasts! ummmmm i think that's it? pretty excited to get back to my normal routine. <3 i smoked a lot of weed before i wrote this so i hope it isn't a nonsensical mess! -- i wrote that last line and got up to do a couple of things, and then boss called and we talked for a while. after we hung up, mr. big came out and demanded pets!! he even got up on the couch next to me and rolled around a little. my heart. in just a week! what a different boy. i'm so happy i could save him. okay i'm really done this time! <33 |