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 �what is Man? a miserable little pile of secrets.� - andr� malraux "i desire to live in peace and to continue the life i have begun under the motto, to live well you must live unseen." - rene descartes note random entry image credit design by : ilazarn ikmal powered by : diaryland |
just feeling good on a nice day.
2020-03-09 @ 11:06 p.m.
so, i wrote all of this on the 6th but didn't press done? idk wtf i was doing. -- i feel kind of stupid writing this i guess? but i keep wondering if this is real! like, what's the catch? mr. big is just an amazing buddy. he follows me everywhere, he is so sweet, he likes to hang out near me whenever i'm home, so well behaved, no weird/bad habits, is already on my schedule, and ... he's just great! he's such a perfect match for me. i'm so happy and thankful for him, it's unbelievable. i truly feel like the universe wanted us to find each other, there's no other explanation. his little face, his sad little eyes just called to me. and now here we are, on this rainy night, sitting right next to each other on the couch, and for the rest of his little cat life he will never have to worry about anything again. i just got home from a thing i didn't want to go to, but went to because i love boss. he was being honored for donating a huge amount to an organization in town, and i thought it was going to be just a quick little thing but it was actually a huge dinner and awards ceremony for this organization. i SUPER didn't want to go because i'm working tomorrow so i wanted to just chill out tonight, but boss's son #2 was at work with us today (he comes in a lot to use the tools and workspaces on his own stuff). and boss had forgotten about the event, but asks son2 if he wants to come. at first he's like yeah! and then he realized that his cousins were coming over for this huge dinner they were having for DR's birthday so he was like actually nah, i gotta get home. boss was so excited that son2 said he was coming, but when he blew him off he just kind of deflated. i felt fucking horrible for him. i told him i wasn't sure if i was going to go because he knows how much i hate shit like that, but i texted him while i went into my house to pee to ask if it was busy and he said not really, so i figured fuck it. then i saw my neighbor/our customer (who was the one who remembered that the event was tonight, lol) was leaving to go to it, so i knew i'd have someone to talk to. listen, it was for a organization which i truly do not give any shits about. but there were so many familiar faces from town, regulars from our business, and the kids who were being honored were so CUTE! this one little boy at the table next to us had the biggest, cheesiest, most joyful grin on his face and made sure to shake the hand of everyone who walked by him on the way up to receive an award. it was really amazing, i couldn't stop smiling the whole time. i was kind of mad that it ran on for fucking ever, but honestly boss hates going to shit like that too and i know if i hadn't gone he would have been sitting there by himself feeling so awkward. so he had neighbor and myself and it was great for him. so anyway it was nice, and i'm home now chilling with my dude. tomorrow, i have to work because i have no money at all and the new AC game comes out in two fucking weeks!!!! my brother told me to pre-order it on amz and they deliver it to your door the day it launches. like holy shit, no other games exist to me for at least the next 6 months, but there looks like there is SO much to do in this one that it'll probably be the better part of a year. when the original came out for GC back in the day, my brother and i played our towns regularly for probably 18 months or so? we saw every single season and holiday come and go and had paid off everything. i'm so excited, i feel like a ridiculous little kid waiting for christmas to come. i felt really silly until i subscribed to a bunch of ytbe channels that release AC updates and news and realized that all of these people are also grown ass adults like me. i'm so ready! so, everything is good, everything is wonderful. it's still hard to trust it but i will. i still, quite often actually, find myself having a nice time in some way or another and immediately doubt it and wonder when everything is going to go wrong. -- okay, here i am actually on the 9th. i don't know what happened that i ended up not finishing my paragraph or posting because i was done. i just meant to say at the end there, something along the lines of "but i'm getting better at just enjoying the moment." because i am, and more and more the moments are really good. i only came here tonight to write about how i'm just chillin, sitting on the couch researching recipes and mr. big is chillin right next to me. he's getting so brave now, sleeping out on the couch at night instead of under the bed. when i came home this afternoon to pee, he was sleeping on my bed, and didn't even get up when i came in (usually he hides when he hears keys). he is almost always just a few feet away from me - when i wash the dishes he lays in "the box" (empty box mr. chubby fell in love with, so in the kitchen it stayed), when i'm on the couch he is nearby, when i go to the bathroom, he is draped over my feet. he is such a great boy, i am just crazy about him. that's it, i'm just really happy and in love! haha. also it was 72 degrees and sunny today and that was amazing. love ya, going to eat some cake <3 |